When the Scale Tolls...

The other day my sister put a note on my facebook page. She probably thinks I've been ignoring it, but I haven't.

Are you ever going to blog again?

I honestly haven't had the answer, so, I simply didn't answer her. But here I am, yes, I'm blogging again. There is no point describing how I've fallen off the horse. I think we all know how that goes. My sister's comment did remind me that people are watching. Unfortunently, that is not always enough motivation. I'm good at not finishing things. I know that if you just don't say anything about your failure that people will eventually stop asking. They don't you or themselves to feel awkward about it. I pretty much was doing that. I kept asking myself, "Ug, why did you tell everyone you were starting this blog? Now they all expect something.."

But is that such a bad thing? Expectations? I should have the highest expectations of myself most often. I just hate telling people about them in case I fail. And I feel like a failure. I know I've lost a LOT of weight. I know I look way better than I used to. I know I am a lot healthier. I know, I know, I know...but I don't really believe it.

The only thing in the world that will cement that fact in my mind is the scale. I got on it this morning, it wasn't good. It keeps saying the wrong thing. I know why, I've been eating absolute crap even though I've still been exercising.

It still seems wrong though, what the scale says. The manufactorers got it wrong. It isn't supposed to tell you your fat, it is supposed to say...

You ARE going to lose 50+ pounds!

Congrats, you are going to change your life today!

You've lost .2 pounds! Yay!

You look hot!

Sexy momma.

Good job, go have morning sex.

People are going to notice your success today.

It is possible! You're proving it.

Make the right choice and you will succeed!

See, that is what those numbers mean. That is what the scale should say in my mind instead of; fat, gross, hopeless, impossible, still so far to go.

Today I want to make the right choices. I started by blogging. Because I don't want to not finish this. It is my life to live as I will. And I will live it as a healthy and happy person. No matter how the scale tolls.

Juicing, Comments and 46.5 miles!

Hey guyz! :P I am feeling so wonderful this morning. I'm so happy to be posting. I meant to post yesterday, but I was so extremely tired.

So yesterday I tried juicing for the first time! And let me tell you, juicing your own fruits/veggies is awesome! It tastes amazing and fills you up and gives you energy. I plan on replacing all but at least one meal with juicing for the next week. I've been reading up about it, and I really think it would be good for me. Yesterday I had fresh apple-grape juice, and then I had apple/celery juice. They were both delicious. Try this people! I tell you it is awesome and you can get a cheap juicer at wal-mart for $30! Mines seems to be working just fine.

I also want to thank everyone who has left comments. Can you believe it I haven't read them in like a week. I was ashamed, yeh yeh, stupid emotions they make you do stupid things like not look at comments on your blog. But this morning I thought, and yes I really thought this, "Dang it Olivia! Let yourself be encouraged!" Lol, so I read them and I DO feel encouraged!! So THANK YOU for not giving up on me when I almost do.

Now, the really cool part of post is about the bike ride I did yesterday! It was called the Humble Lions Bike Ride, and it was absolutely wonderful! Kyra and I did the 46.5 mile route! That is right! From 29 miles to 46.5 miles! And almost all of it was, not easy, but fun! The last 10 miles or so felt very long. But most of the route was through country rodes that weren't busy. We saw lots of cows and birds, and a few raccoons sleeping on the road. Silly raccoons, they just love sleeping in the road. We met up with Alison and her boy friend, whom she calls Peach...well, here, let me tell the story through some awesome pics that Alison took!

This is everyone lining up at the start. It is so fun to see all the different kinds of bikes and all the different kinds of people. I'm telling you, anyone and everyone is capable of enjoying road biking. Young, old, small, large...everyone is out there giving it a shot.

From left to right; me, Alison, and Kyra. Don't we look cool! I was surprised by, well, how not gigantic I look in this picture. I have a shape, and I don't necessarily look like the fat friend that is along for the ride.

We're back there, at the starting line. Me and Kyra. (Look for the girl in the white jacket and the girl in the blue jacket/blue helmet/blue bike.) That's right, Kyra is so extremem all her stuff matches! She is adorable.

This is Alison and her boyfriend, Peaches as she calls him. She is super nice! And is also doing the MS150. We are going to start training with her a couple of times during the week. Peaches has done two Iron Man Triathlons! Crazy! Sounds cheesy, but it is so cool to hang out with healthy/athletic people.

Have a good day!

Reset

How many times is it possible to hit that reset button? Seriously. But if I was willing to sit in front of a Nintendo and hit reset a million times until a game worked, then surely I am willing to hit my personal reset button until my body/mind work correctly.

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Oooooo, watcha sa-ay & other Ramblings.

Today I feel 'good' as in:

OMG I FEEL SO TIRED BECAUSE I HAVEN'T BEEN EATING AND WORKING OUT LIKE I SHOULD AND NOW I HAVE TO GET MY BUTT BACK IN GEAR, LIKE NOW!

And that does feel good, because it means I am doing something right.

So, something I forgot to tell you all about yesterday is what I did this weekend for the first time. I went on a bike ride! Not just any old bike ride, but a 29 mile bike ride with a head wind about 85% of the time!!

It was really awesome. It took Kyra and I a little over 2 hours to finish. I think we averaged between 10 & 12 mph. I know we could have done better, but really, that wind was a killer.

There was this one stretch of road about 8 miles long, and it was the worst. Sometimes I would try to pass people (yes, passing is still fun :) ) and then after passing them the wind would be stronger because they weren't blocking it...and the only thing that kept me going was how utterly ridiculous it would be if they passed me right after I passed them. Anyway, at the end of this 8 mile road from H - E - Double Hockey Sticks....there was... duh duh duh duh (queue menacing music) a bridge!

A STEEP bridge!

Okay, maybe not THAT bad. But it was still very difficult. When we saw it in the distance, I think Kyra and I were both thinking of that option of getting off your bike and just walking over the bridge. And then I thought, "SCREW it! I've come this far against a head wind, I can cross a bridge with a head wind too." And I did...And I didn't cry, and I didn't die...and I did it!! Weeee. Know what is even more awesome? That workout burned close to 2000 calories!! Woohoo for road biking! No wonder I was starving afterwards.

So how are my goals going today, you may be asking? And if not, I'm asking for you.

So far so good. Bad thing is I have already pretty much reached my calorie limit. I might eat an orange momentarilly...but that is it for the day. I did my weight lifting and swimming this morning. I tried to run, really I did. But I was so sore from that bike ride, plus lifting weights which I haven't done in a while. So, I'll be running when I get home tonight and getting on my spinning bike for 30 minutes....Actually, depending on if the sun is still out, I might run and bike outside!! That would make me uber happy! Oh, and I'm on my 5th bottle of water, as we speak. So, I'm sure I can get up to 6. And then, after this great day, I'm gonna watch The Bachelor. Oh the little things in life.

Happy Monday!

Shaking it Up = Kicking it Up

Am I ready? Yes I am! I am so psyched about this week. Every day I have a goal, and every day I will accomplish it. That is my new 21 day goal...everyday I will set goals, and every day I will accomplish them. For 21 days straight, I will not have an 'off' day no matter what. And on March 1st I will be getting back on that scale with a vengeance.

My goals for tomorrow? Simple.

#1 - Eat 1300 Calories or less.

#2 - Drink 6 Bottle of Water.

#3 - Exercise: 20 min. strength training, 30 min. run/walk intervals, 30 min. bike ride, 30 min swimming.

Three simple goals...That I will accomplish. So stay tuned :)

Looking for...Something

And I don't know what it is. I'll work out, and feel great...and when I get to the food I just keep thinking, "What does it matter, you gained, you worked so hard and you gained." It has almost been a week and I still can't stop thinking about this stupid gain in weight. Why is it I've lost almost 80 pounds, and all I can think of is a few pound gain?? I mean, I didn't think about gaining weight when I was gaining far more than just a few pounds. It is stupid, and I wish I could say I'm over it, but I'm not. I just feel like I need to wake up! And since I want to wake up all I want to do is go to sleep...in the hopes that when I wake up I can move on.

Jeez, this just isn't that big of a deal. I need to get over it. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Your very grumpy blogger,
Olivia

Do Bad Things Really Come In 3s?

I sure hope so. Seems like I've been in a funk, and I sure am ready to get out of it.

Bad Things:

#1 - Gained weight. Yeh, I'm sure everyone can understand that one.
#2 - Found out I owe one taxes. UG! JUST when you think you are getting ahead.
#3 - Cut backs at work. I work for a little organization you may have heard of, it is called NASA. I'm a contractor and all the cancellations that are happening with constellation right now, well, those are a little scary, plus my husband works here. Hopefully we will both have a job in a few months.

So hopefully that is it. I really don't want anymore. I've already got a lovely fever blister that showed up the other night. I usually take medicine for them, but by the time I realized what was happening to my poor lip it was too late.

Monday night and all day Tuesday I sulked.

Oh whoa is me!!!

So here is to three GOOD things happening! :)