Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Golden Arches

Last night I tuned in with millions of others to watch the Biggest Loser season premiere. I've never watched this show from the beginning, but this season I'm going to give it a real shot.

Having the contestants weigh in at their home towns really got to me. I started thinking about the beginning of my journey. That day, I woke up early. It was just me and the dogs. I got on the scale for the first time in more than, well...I've actually never used a home scale before that. Only at the doctor's office did I see my weight, and I probably hadn't been there since high school. But anyway, I got on the scale, and I remember seeing that 269 pop up on the digital display.

I think I was so shocked that nothing really clicked at that point. I didn't cry. I just got off the scale, put it up...and proceeded to take the 'start' pictures that I still use as a reference today. Can you believe it, I remember feeling pretty in those pictures. I had dressed up more than usual for work. (To see the pictures take a look at my first post.)

Last night I started to imagine if I had to weigh-in in front of everyone; my friends, my husband, my mom, my dad, my sisters, cousins, aunts & uncles, coworkers, kids from my high school, people from my college, teachers, mentors, and throw in a few dozen people just from around the area that were simply curious. Man, that crowd would be pretty big. I'm not saying I'm popular, far from it, but a person generally accumulates lots of acquaintances through the years.

Would all of those people gasp when they saw my final number of 269? Would some of them cry? I doubt any of them would know what to say.

Sometimes this can be a lonely journey. I got up at 3:30 a.m. today because I was so excited to be done fasting and be able to workout, lol. I won't really see anyone for another hour, and it will be 8:00 a.m. before I see anyone I can talk to. I am making this journey on my own, and sometimes that is very evident to me. Few will know what I have been through, how far I have come like I, and others who have been through the same thing, will.

But I am approaching something that I never thought I would. For the first time in my life I am sure that I will eventually, sometime in the first half of this year, join the ranks of the people who reached their weight loss goal. And that realization has given me an epiphany.

For so long I thought these people were untouchable. I always regarded them with some awe for their accomplishments. I've also regarded them with severe jealousy, almost loathing resentment, if I am honest. I never really said the words out loud, but I'm sure I thought that something must have clicked in place for them to make this journey easy. They must have had a personal trainer. Or I would even think, "Well they were bigger than me. Of course they had the motivation, if not they would die!"

I apologize to all of those who have reached success that I ever thought these kinds of things about.

I have 50 pounds to go before I reach a healthy body weight. I know I have a long way to go. In no way am I in the clear. But, just like when I saw those golden arches of the McDonalds when I ran my first 3 miles without stopping...I know I'm going to make it this time. The finish line is really in sight for me.

When I get there I will be one of those people. The success stories. One of those people I search in google for so that I can get motivation.

What would I say to the people out there that are like the old me, who say I had it easy? Who say I could do it because I didn't have their problems; Their knee problems, their stresses, their work schedule? There are people like this, I've already met some of them. Friends and coworkers who just can't wrap their heads around it that it has been just as difficult for me as it is going to be for them. I know we all like to feel special, but let's face it, when it comes to weight loss very few of us have a genetic condition holding us back. It is the same basic equation; eat less + exercise more = success!

That is it. That simple...yet extremely difficult. I will never doubt again that people who have achieved great success didn't go through what I have to go through. They had to get up early in the morning and skip their husband's morning hugs, they had to say no to the pizza, they had to go to the gym when it was cold outside, they had to look in the mirror before they were successful and see what they still had to defeat & accomplish.

This is a huge realization for me. Because of this I know I will finish. People have pushed through this before. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it.

Okay, so down to the nitty gritty of actually doing it eh?

Got up early today because I want to get a LOT done! I don't really want to say what I want to accomplish. Instead, I want to come back tomorrow and tell you what I have accomplished. I am really excited about the Triathlon in May. Today I will be putting a training schedule together. I'll probably make the next month or so very detailed, and then outline general details until the big day. But again, I don't really want to post all this on my blog until I've done it. That gives me extra motivation to actually do it all!

Yesterday I successfully fasted with 200 calories or less of liquids. Also took two light walks with Candy during the day. Did I mention how much I love that girl? Just one of the best people you will ever meet in your entire life. Like, I seriously worry that I'm not good enough to be her friend sometimes! :)

Alright people, I've written enough. It is time for me to get dressed and hit the oh so cold and lonely road, lol. I hope if anyone is reading this that you have an amazing day....and if you need to embark on a weigh loss journey, we have all been the beginning, where it feels hopeless. But we just kept going, and guess what? One step at a time, and you can travel across the world.