What is best in life?
Well, to me;
To feel the cool breeze in your face when riding a bike. Hugs in a freshly made bed, either with Aaron or my boxer :) And delicious food that comes without guilt.
I'm tired. I'm tired of thinking about weight loss. I'm tired of feeling stressed about it. My #1 goal is to enjoy life. And I just can't when I constantly feel guilty. What drives me in this desire to be skinny? Why am I obsessed with it? So much that if I fail at a diet and then I binge?
What is best in life?
Training, I like training. I like riding my bike, I like swimming, and I actually enjoy run/walking. I really do enjoy these things.
Food, I enjoy food. I enjoy healthy food more than anything. I enjoy sodas with real sugar. I like fruit and vegetables.
I like feeling healthy and feeling good about myself.
I didn't lose much weight this year. That is the simple fact of the matter. But for the first 6 months of the year I felt GREAT about myself! I felt pretty, athletic, healthy, sexy even! When did I lose sight of that I can feel that way without being skinny???
I'm not saying that I don't want to lose weight. I do. But my main motivation behind wanting to lose weight is WRONG. I want ATTENTION. This is a reoccurring theme isn't it? I am always seeking affirmation and other people's approval. Oh man, it feels SOOO good when people compliment me about losing weight. I crave it. But if no one says anything, then I give up. Or if someone else is losing more weight than I am, and they get the compliments...man, I get SO jealous. I get so jealous that I give up and binge.
I don't want to be that person. I don't want to lose weight to get attention. I want to be the person that loses weight because they are living a lifestyle where the weight goes away on its own. A lifestyle where I'm training and not stressing and sleeping. And not binging, since I'm not constantly forcing myself to adhere to a diet and failing. And eating healthy just because that food makes me happy and makes me feel good.
I feel like this is really against the flow of most people's mindsets. And I'm not saying those people are wrong. It works for a lot of people. But I am beginning to realize that I am a very selfish and conceited person. It is not the person I want to be in life.
So, after that loooong winded thought process I'll conclude like this.
If you are reading this, tell me, What is Best in Life?
What is best in life?
Training, I like training. I like riding my bike, I like swimming, and I actually enjoy run/walking. I really do enjoy these things.
Food, I enjoy food. I enjoy healthy food more than anything. I enjoy sodas with real sugar. I like fruit and vegetables.
I like feeling healthy and feeling good about myself.
I didn't lose much weight this year. That is the simple fact of the matter. But for the first 6 months of the year I felt GREAT about myself! I felt pretty, athletic, healthy, sexy even! When did I lose sight of that I can feel that way without being skinny???
I'm not saying that I don't want to lose weight. I do. But my main motivation behind wanting to lose weight is WRONG. I want ATTENTION. This is a reoccurring theme isn't it? I am always seeking affirmation and other people's approval. Oh man, it feels SOOO good when people compliment me about losing weight. I crave it. But if no one says anything, then I give up. Or if someone else is losing more weight than I am, and they get the compliments...man, I get SO jealous. I get so jealous that I give up and binge.
Basically, this is a chart of my motivations for losing weight:
I don't want to be that person. I don't want to lose weight to get attention. I want to be the person that loses weight because they are living a lifestyle where the weight goes away on its own. A lifestyle where I'm training and not stressing and sleeping. And not binging, since I'm not constantly forcing myself to adhere to a diet and failing. And eating healthy just because that food makes me happy and makes me feel good.
I am putting on the brakes.
I can't do this anymore.
I have to stop dieting.
I have to stop trying to lose weight.
I can't do this anymore.
I have to stop dieting.
I have to stop trying to lose weight.
I feel like this is really against the flow of most people's mindsets. And I'm not saying those people are wrong. It works for a lot of people. But I am beginning to realize that I am a very selfish and conceited person. It is not the person I want to be in life.
So, after that loooong winded thought process I'll conclude like this.
If you are reading this, tell me, What is Best in Life?
