More from yesterday..

Okay, so I wanted to type a lot more last night, but my husband was literally staring over my shoulder. Don't get me wrong, he can read anything I write here...but, when I'm writing I get into cheesy Olivia mode, and I would be embarrassed if someone actually watched while I wrote. I asked him if he was gonna read it...he said no, but shortly after he was like, "you drank coffee??" Okay, so yeh...this is kind of an extension of yesterday...

Yesterday I felt so victorious! What a difference one little day can make. I managed to eat well through out the day, and then when I got home I got out of the car, didn't even go inside my house, and went for a run. (It was sunny outside so I didn't want to go on the treadmill, and am avoiding the path at work because I'm scared of the deer, hehe.) I ran 1.95ish miles (sorry, I'm rounding it up to 2 miles)...and on the last 1/8 of a mile I sprinted. I just pushed and pushed and pushed. Was a very good workout!

Why after such a good feeling would I go back to my slovenly ways? It makes no sense, but I know that temptation is always there, so I have to be aware of it.

That brings me to a point I've been meaning to discuss...

A few days ago, when I got to work, a friend of mine left a comment on my instant messanger. He had left it the day before after reading some of my blog, especially the stuff about the 12 step stuff. Hopefully he doesn't mind me posting his comment here.

I just noticed your blog and read some. You are brave for putting that all out there. Yes, men are emotioanl eaters too, I sure am. I also do think that the addiction model works when emotional eating is involved as it does for alcohol. Both are ingested to change the way one feels - a sure indicator of addiction. AA tells new people not to get too wrapped up in the why (emotions), they tell you to just accept it and focus on what Jung called a rearrangement of the mind. Basically, you just need change everything and become something new. Here is a pretty good explanation: http://www.nautis.com/2004/08/node-89

The link he sent me was to an article. The most import part of which, in my mind, was the following;

"When Roland reportedly asked Jung if there was any sure way for an alcoholic to recover — truly recover, Jung is quoted as saying, “Yes, there is. Exceptions to cases such as yours have been occurring since early times. Here and there, once in a while, alcoholics have had what are called vital spiritual experiences. To me these are phenomena. They appear to be in the nature of huge emotional displacements and rearrangements. Ideas, emotions, and attitudes which were once the guiding forces of the lives of these men are suddenly cast to one side, and a completely new set of conceptions and motives begin to dominate them. In fact, I have been trying to produce some such emotional rearrangement within you. With many individuals the methods which I employed are successful, but I have never been successful with an alcoholic of your description.”

It seems that Jung’s pronouncement that the only hope for Roland was a “spiritual experience” was the final straw in Roland’s treatment. He was deflated to the point of “giving up.” As a result he had the 'rearrangement'..."

A few things stand out to me here...

• AA tells new people not to get too wrapped up in the why (emotions), they tell you to just accept it and focus on what Jung called a rearrangement of the mind.
• They appear to be in the nature of huge emotional displacements and rearrangements. Ideas, emotions, and attitudes which were once the guiding forces of the lives of these men are suddenly cast to one side, and a completely new set of conceptions and motives begin to dominate them.

I wish there was a recipe that would prompt this 'rearrangement', that would change my 'motives'. I read the wiki on Analytical Psychology, Jungian Archetypes and Individuation...and let me tell you, my head is hurting. I need to explore myself.

The part about, "AA tells new people not to get too wrapped up in the why (emotions)," Maybe there is something to this, and I plan to really investigate this thought. It is hard for me to conceive the idea that I can accept the way something is, and still change...no rearrange...it. That means you never really get rid of the temptation...something else just takes priority.

Again, something I just need to think on...I think there is something here. Acceptance and what not. I did find this poem, and somehow it made something click...somehow it helped me understand the kind of acceptance I need in order to choose to give priority to what I want in life...

The Guest House - By Rimi

This being human is a guest house
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

So, today I'm gonna try to do it again! I will be victorious! :) So far I had my Omelet Thinger (a bunch of veggies over egg beaters and some cheese). The good thing is I made it even healthier than usual by using very light butter (25 calories), and fat free cheese (35 calories)....it brought the whole thing to a total of about 150 calories.

Okay, think I'm gonna sneak back into bed for a bit and hug my hubby. I hope you all have a great day.

OH! almost forgot. I really wanted to thank everyone who has been commenting. I feel very flattered and motivated that people I respect, and read their blog almost every day, actually take their time to stop by and comment. Kinda feels like meeting a celebrity or something, hehe.