BLC - Day 3

Day 3, doing good!

This morning I:
Swam 30 Minutes
Ran/Walked 10 Minutes
Weight Lifted 20 Minutes

I wish I could have run longer, but I ran out of time. Lol, 'ran' out of time, literally.

I'm getting stressed about the Cabaret audition. It is just nerves, but this morning I woke up freaking out, thinking I was getting a fever blister from the stress. But I'm not, so now I just need to CALM DOWN. I need CONFIDENCE!

Oh man, this is soooo true:

It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not.

I keep trying to build my confidence, to seize my doubt and just decide to not care, to go balls to the wall (so to speak). Usually I don't have such a hard time with this. But for some reason, this has really got me.

I'm not going to let my doubt bring me down.
That is what I will keep telling myself until I believe it.

BLC - Day 2

Sigh, man, I have had this window open all day meaning to blog, but it has been CRAZY busy at work. I was about to close the window and thought, 'Nope, I can take a moment to blog.'

So today is day 2 of our biggest loser challenge and I'm feeling pretty good. Have eaten reasonably all day and done the following exercise:

25 minutes run/walk
25 minutes stationary biking
20 minutes weight lifting
20 minutes swimming

I'd like to do some more tonight, but we'll see what kind of energy I have when I get home. I do want to watch the biggest loser, and I have no excuse not to ride my spinning bike while I watch it. So might tack on another 30-60 minutes spinning. All in all, a good exercise day.

Met up with a friend named Heidi today to talk about Triathlon stuff. She has done an Iron Man and lots of other amazing stuff. She gave Helen and I lots of good pointers about the Triathlon on May 31st. It is getting scary because man is it getting real!

I was really thinking about the Cabaret auditions last night and this morning. I didn't sleep well because I was stressing out over it. But here is what I've decided, and it makes me feel much better. Nothing I do right now is going to make me get or not get the part I want. It is all up to those casting people. All I can do is going into that audition and bring it. While I want the part, if I don't get it now, hey, maybe the opportunity will come along again. And that time I will physically be ready as much as I am mentally/vocally.

Just realizing that all I can do is put my best foot forward on Sunday made me feel a lot better. It is a lot like weight loss. I cannot choose right now to have a thin/healthy body. What I can do is choose to make the right decisions today. The exact outcome of how I will look, etc, is out of my control. Every day I eat healthy, every day I bring it, makes me truly happy. It is so often I get to the point of accomplishment and it is not as thrilling as I thought it would be. That is when I realize that it was all about the experience. When I finished the MS150 it wasn't about the finish....it was the experience that had me so wowed, the during, the hills, the horses running in the fields along with the bikers, the sun peeking through a cloud. I hope that I can share that with other people, share the exhilaration when I cross the finish line...but in the end that experience is unique. It is what is truly worth celebrating. Meeting a group of women with the same goals, having friends that encourage you to make healthy choices, fitting into a new pair of pants...It is exciting! What am I going to do with myself once I reach this goal that I've set for myself? I act like it is the end, but I don't want it to end. Lately my husband has been complaining a bit that I am never home. He wants to know if I'll be home more after the Triathlon. The answer might be 'no'. I want to continue striving, making my way, experiencing new things. It truly is all about the experience and process...It sounds cheesy to read and hear that from other people, but when you have that epiphany yourself it is ground breaking.

Okay, I could go on like this forever, lol. Hope everyone had a great day and thanks for reading :)

BLC - Day 1

Today is the first day of the biggest loser challenge at work. It is going great! Almost everyone has weighed in and at lunch we had a 'meeting' and almost everyone came! There were numbers exchanged, workout buddies made, tips and inspirational stories shared. We have a wide spectrum of people who joined, even a couple of women who maybe have 10 pounds to lose. I think we might meet again next Monday to see how everyone is doing.

Ah, it feels good to be inspired again. It feels good to meet people that have the same goals as me.

This morning I got up and went to the gym. Here is what I did.
20 minutes run/walk (10min walk, 10 min run)
20 minutes weight lifting
10 minutes stationary biking
10 minutes swimming

It felt great to work out. I applied some tips Helen gave me to swimming, and I felt like I was going much faster! Me going fast? I know, it is an oxymoron. But really, it felt like I was. I really want to workout again tonight. I have a treadmill and spinning bike at home. Maybe I'll do a duathlon and run 1 mile, bike 30 minutes and then run again. :) That would be fun!

Thanks for reading :)

We've Got This!

So today I had the last lunch...kinda like last supper, but maybe not as hard core...since, well, this last lunch I eat in order to extend my life, not end it.

Monday 7 friends and I are starting a Biggest Loser challenge. It is a month long challenge, and my personal goals are to:

-Consume 1200 calories or less a day
-Of those 1200 calories they will not be made up of soda or candy, but instead I can only eat fruits, veggies, plain meat, and a small amount of bread/carbs. Don't worry, I'll take vitamins!
-Exercise 6 days a week
-BLOG every day of the challenge (shock, I know. I need to get back into this blogging thing)
-I will not eat the peanut butter egg that is in my desk until 6/1/2010, once I have completed the challenge :)

I want to win this, I want to finish this. 50 pounds more, that is all I'm asking. The other day I finally admitted it out loud to my husband.

I admitted that I am disappointed in myself. The Cabaret audition is in a week. I'm not to my goal. It is 99.999% sure that I won't get the part I REALLY have ALWAYS wanted to play because I am still overweight.

How many opportunities have I let pass me by? How many times have I let myself down. I hate letting others down, I should hate letting myself down just as much.

I'm not saying this to bash myself.

I'm saying this because it is the LAST time I'm going to say it.

50 more pounds?

I'll tell you what I have to say to 50 more pounds.

I'll say what I said to many people going up the hills during the MS150

"We've got this!"

See you at the finish line!

Great Weekend...

What a great weekend! What was so great about it you may ask?

#1 - Got to spend it with the most wonderful husband in the world!!

#2 - I bought a 2002 Focus!!!! :) And it is in great shape, got a good deal on it, payments are low, it is going to allow me to travel!!! Yay! I am such a dork, I don't know why but I've always wanted a focus hatch wince high school, lol. And now I have one!

#3 - I went on a bike ride! ~35 miles. It was great! I rode up to work and back, so now I'm going to start commuting via bike. Can't today because I have a weird workout schedule, but I'm planning on starting tomorrow. I got a bike headlight and lock, so I'm ready to go! A little nervous about riding in the dark, but I know a route where the traffic isn't bad at all, so I am sure I will be okay. With the MS150 being just two weeks away, I know it will help in my training.

#4 - I sold the VW!!!! If you didn't know, I had a 1995 VW Golf. It was in OKAY condition for a commuter car. But I felt trapped with that car. I was always scared to drive out more than 30 miles from my house because that is outside of my 'free' towing range. It got me through 5 months, and I will miss the little thing. But man was I happy when only 4 hours after posting it on craigslist it SOLD! Eeee!

#5 - THEN! After selling it my husband and I went and bought a Wii!!! Yay, what fun! Debating on whether or not I should pick up the Wii Fit or EA Active game. Maybe I'll find one used cheap. I'm not willing to pay full price, sorry!

So, what is on the agenda today? Well, work is going to be weird for the next couple of weeks. Not going to be at my normal desk and can't goof around as much. Oh well. Good thing is I definitely won't be able to sit at my desk snacking all day. :) Tonight I'm probly going to go with my sister to do some Zumba at 6:30. At 5:45 there is a body sculpting class I'd also like to go to, but I'll have to see when I get off work. When I get home I really want to do some spinning, maybe 30 minutes? Then play some Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! :)

Oh, btw, I'm trying a new approach. Inches, not pounds. So I guess I better get to measuring.

bust - 45.5

waste - 40

hips - 48.75

roll - 48

thigh - 27.75

arm - 15

Alright, seriously need to start getting ready for work now. Have a great day!

Well, if you want to...

Well, if you want to sing out, sing out
And if you want to be free, be free
‘Cause there’s a million things to be
You know that there are

And if you want to live high, live high
And if you want to live low, live low
‘Cause there’s a million ways to go
You know that there are

You can do what you want
The opportunity’s on
And if you can find a new way
You can do it today
You can make it all true
And you can make it un-do
You see? Ah, ah, ah
It’s easy, ah, ah, ah
You only need to know

Well if you want to say yes, say yes
And if you want to say no, say no
‘Cause there’s a million ways to go
You know that there are
And if you want to be me, be me
And if you want to be you, be you
‘Cause there’s a million things to do
You know that there are

You can do what you want
The opportunity’s on
And if you can find a new way
You can do it today
You can make it all true
And you can make it un-do
You see? Ah, ah, ah
It’s easy, ah, ah, ah
You only need to know

Well, if you want to sing out, sing out
And if you want to be free, be free
‘Cause there’s a million things to be
You know that there are
You know that there are
You know that there are
You know that there are
You know that there are

Spinning, Zumba, and Competition

Yesterday was not a bad day. I didn't eat very well. My hubby was sick, and begged for whataburger...so, I indulged. I'm pretty surey I maintained. The good news is I got up early this morning and got stuff so we can eat at home for pretty much the next two weeks. :)

The reason yesterday wasn't bad is that I really pushed it working out. I had a spinning class, and since I have been road biking it is a lot easier for me to simulate real biking in class. Knowing I have a 47+ mile ride this weekend with hills I knew I needed to squeeze out any training I could get. So, for an hour, I pushed it. Instead of just putting a little resistance on the bike, I pumped it up. 'This is a HILL' I kept telling myself. It felt awesome!

Of course, after that I was meeting my sister for a Zumba class. And I mean, it was IMMEDIATELY after the spinning class. I kept up for about thirty minutes and then headed home. So, I really like Zumba. But, I'm really bad at it. Oh well, guess I'll keep going until I'm good at it. I mean, dang, look at these women! Holy poo! I'd love to look like that...curvy but not fat.

Now, to the competition part of my post. Well, this chick I know replied to a status message of mine on facebook. The status message was about me going to the gym. She said that she was working out really hard to get ready for the summer, and that she knows we are gonna look really hot. I've always felt competative toward this chick. I don't really know why. She has always been slightly smaller than me. She keeps loosing weight so that she is always just a little bit smaller. She's nice, I don't wish her ill will. But on the rare occasions I actually see her...man, I always like to look good when I do. So, seeing that from her I'm imagining her squeezing into a really cute bathing suit. Talk about lighting a fire under my butt!

So, what is planned for today?

Well, for breakfast I just had some cheerios, soymilk, and 1/2 a banana. I have some juice at work (veggie and fruit). Before I leave work (around 4) I'm going to have a cracker, banana, and some peanut butter. And tonight, I'll eat a PORTION SIZE of whatever my husband wants for dinner. (All healthy food that can be cooked at home. Also, I'm going to go for a bike ride after work. I'm planning about a 20ish mile ride.

Hope everyone has a great day!