Well, if you want to...

Well, if you want to sing out, sing out
And if you want to be free, be free
‘Cause there’s a million things to be
You know that there are

And if you want to live high, live high
And if you want to live low, live low
‘Cause there’s a million ways to go
You know that there are

You can do what you want
The opportunity’s on
And if you can find a new way
You can do it today
You can make it all true
And you can make it un-do
You see? Ah, ah, ah
It’s easy, ah, ah, ah
You only need to know

Well if you want to say yes, say yes
And if you want to say no, say no
‘Cause there’s a million ways to go
You know that there are
And if you want to be me, be me
And if you want to be you, be you
‘Cause there’s a million things to do
You know that there are

You can do what you want
The opportunity’s on
And if you can find a new way
You can do it today
You can make it all true
And you can make it un-do
You see? Ah, ah, ah
It’s easy, ah, ah, ah
You only need to know

Well, if you want to sing out, sing out
And if you want to be free, be free
‘Cause there’s a million things to be
You know that there are
You know that there are
You know that there are
You know that there are
You know that there are

Spinning, Zumba, and Competition

Yesterday was not a bad day. I didn't eat very well. My hubby was sick, and begged for whataburger...so, I indulged. I'm pretty surey I maintained. The good news is I got up early this morning and got stuff so we can eat at home for pretty much the next two weeks. :)

The reason yesterday wasn't bad is that I really pushed it working out. I had a spinning class, and since I have been road biking it is a lot easier for me to simulate real biking in class. Knowing I have a 47+ mile ride this weekend with hills I knew I needed to squeeze out any training I could get. So, for an hour, I pushed it. Instead of just putting a little resistance on the bike, I pumped it up. 'This is a HILL' I kept telling myself. It felt awesome!

Of course, after that I was meeting my sister for a Zumba class. And I mean, it was IMMEDIATELY after the spinning class. I kept up for about thirty minutes and then headed home. So, I really like Zumba. But, I'm really bad at it. Oh well, guess I'll keep going until I'm good at it. I mean, dang, look at these women! Holy poo! I'd love to look like that...curvy but not fat.

Now, to the competition part of my post. Well, this chick I know replied to a status message of mine on facebook. The status message was about me going to the gym. She said that she was working out really hard to get ready for the summer, and that she knows we are gonna look really hot. I've always felt competative toward this chick. I don't really know why. She has always been slightly smaller than me. She keeps loosing weight so that she is always just a little bit smaller. She's nice, I don't wish her ill will. But on the rare occasions I actually see her...man, I always like to look good when I do. So, seeing that from her I'm imagining her squeezing into a really cute bathing suit. Talk about lighting a fire under my butt!

So, what is planned for today?

Well, for breakfast I just had some cheerios, soymilk, and 1/2 a banana. I have some juice at work (veggie and fruit). Before I leave work (around 4) I'm going to have a cracker, banana, and some peanut butter. And tonight, I'll eat a PORTION SIZE of whatever my husband wants for dinner. (All healthy food that can be cooked at home. Also, I'm going to go for a bike ride after work. I'm planning about a 20ish mile ride.

Hope everyone has a great day!

When the Scale Tolls...

The other day my sister put a note on my facebook page. She probably thinks I've been ignoring it, but I haven't.

Are you ever going to blog again?

I honestly haven't had the answer, so, I simply didn't answer her. But here I am, yes, I'm blogging again. There is no point describing how I've fallen off the horse. I think we all know how that goes. My sister's comment did remind me that people are watching. Unfortunently, that is not always enough motivation. I'm good at not finishing things. I know that if you just don't say anything about your failure that people will eventually stop asking. They don't you or themselves to feel awkward about it. I pretty much was doing that. I kept asking myself, "Ug, why did you tell everyone you were starting this blog? Now they all expect something.."

But is that such a bad thing? Expectations? I should have the highest expectations of myself most often. I just hate telling people about them in case I fail. And I feel like a failure. I know I've lost a LOT of weight. I know I look way better than I used to. I know I am a lot healthier. I know, I know, I know...but I don't really believe it.

The only thing in the world that will cement that fact in my mind is the scale. I got on it this morning, it wasn't good. It keeps saying the wrong thing. I know why, I've been eating absolute crap even though I've still been exercising.

It still seems wrong though, what the scale says. The manufactorers got it wrong. It isn't supposed to tell you your fat, it is supposed to say...

You ARE going to lose 50+ pounds!

Congrats, you are going to change your life today!

You've lost .2 pounds! Yay!

You look hot!

Sexy momma.

Good job, go have morning sex.

People are going to notice your success today.

It is possible! You're proving it.

Make the right choice and you will succeed!

See, that is what those numbers mean. That is what the scale should say in my mind instead of; fat, gross, hopeless, impossible, still so far to go.

Today I want to make the right choices. I started by blogging. Because I don't want to not finish this. It is my life to live as I will. And I will live it as a healthy and happy person. No matter how the scale tolls.