Friday, October 15, 2010

MS150 - 182 Days & Counting




It's almost that time again! Time for the BP MS150!! I'm very excited because this year I'm going to:

  • Start Training Earlier (This Sunday in fact)
  • Train More!
  • Do as many of the recommended training rides as possible because I actually have $$$ to do them!
  • Get clipless peddles...getting these tomorrow, yikes!
  • Be on the St. Arnold's Brewery Team! Which I signed up for today!!!
  • Meet my husband at the finish line! He didn't get to make it last year, but this year I already got a hotel so we can party it up that night!
  • I'm going to LOOOONG route this year! Oh yeh baby! That's 99.56 miles the first day and 74.1 miles the second day! Totally: 173.66 miles!! (okay getting a little less excited after typing that, lol)
So yeh, I'm really excited!!! If you are in Texas you should totally do it toooooo!! (Hint, hint Melting Candy.)

More to come!

Recap of the 2010 BP MS 150

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

To Expose or Not to Expose?

Have you heard of the Exposed movement? It is where you take a picture of yourself in underwear or other revealing clothing, and you basically tag your body up with positive things. I've seen a lot of people posting these pictures up on their blogs lately. I think it is awesome, very cool, and very empowering. So, of course, I want to do it.

But there is a problem.

You are probably thinking the problem is embarrassment. It isn't that I'm embarrassed to bare it all on the internet, even though I am in many ways. I can overcome that.

The problem is; I was thinking of this picture and I was trying to think of what I could say about all these body parts, good things to say...and other than my thighs...I can't think of a single thing.

That is the problem. Not my body, but my perspective of my body. I should be able to think of good things about the parts of me. But I can't, I simply can't.

But I'm going to change that. I want to learn to love my body, mainly these parts:

My thighs
My hips
My stomach
My arms
My shoulders


And I make this promise to my blog and my readers.
On 1/1/2011 I will expose myself to the world,
and by that date I will think of reasons to love the above parts of me,
and more!


Are you ready to expose yourself?

If not..maybe you should start thinking about why.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

What is Best in Life?





What is best in life?

Well, to me;

To feel the cool breeze in your face when riding a bike. Hugs in a freshly made bed, either with Aaron or my boxer :) And delicious food that comes without guilt.

I'm tired. I'm tired of thinking about weight loss. I'm tired of feeling stressed about it. My #1 goal is to enjoy life. And I just can't when I constantly feel guilty. What drives me in this desire to be skinny? Why am I obsessed with it? So much that if I fail at a diet and then I binge?

What is best in life?

Training, I like training. I like riding my bike, I like swimming, and I actually enjoy run/walking. I really do enjoy these things.

Food, I enjoy food. I enjoy healthy food more than anything. I enjoy sodas with real sugar. I like fruit and vegetables.

I like feeling healthy and feeling good about myself.

I didn't lose much weight this year. That is the simple fact of the matter. But for the first 6 months of the year I felt GREAT about myself! I felt pretty, athletic, healthy, sexy even! When did I lose sight of that I can feel that way without being skinny???

I'm not saying that I don't want to lose weight. I do. But my main motivation behind wanting to lose weight is WRONG. I want ATTENTION. This is a reoccurring theme isn't it? I am always seeking affirmation and other people's approval. Oh man, it feels SOOO good when people compliment me about losing weight. I crave it. But if no one says anything, then I give up. Or if someone else is losing more weight than I am, and they get the compliments...man, I get SO jealous. I get so jealous that I give up and binge.

Basically, this is a chart of my motivations for losing weight:


I don't want to be that person. I don't want to lose weight to get attention. I want to be the person that loses weight because they are living a lifestyle where the weight goes away on its own. A lifestyle where I'm training and not stressing and sleeping. And not binging, since I'm not constantly forcing myself to adhere to a diet and failing. And eating healthy just because that food makes me happy and makes me feel good.

I am putting on the brakes.
I can't do this anymore.
I have to stop dieting.
I have to stop trying to lose weight.

I feel like this is really against the flow of most people's mindsets. And I'm not saying those people are wrong. It works for a lot of people. But I am beginning to realize that I am a very selfish and conceited person. It is not the person I want to be in life.

So, after that loooong winded thought process I'll conclude like this.

If you are reading this, tell me, What is Best in Life?



Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Assert Yourself and Day 2 Recap

The Biggest Loser and I have a love/hate relationship. I ended up watching it last night, and got thoroughly annoyed by Jillian being so pissed at the girls for coming in last on weigh ins. Why don't they ever address the facts about the difference between men and women's weight loss? Why don't they display the height of the contestants or explain BMI? Or that muscle weighs more than fat, or that the first week the contestants probably lose a lot of water weight...sigh, it gets a little irritating. Because, while it is inspiring in many ways, it could also be discouraging to someone who is trying to lose weight outside of the show.

Well, there was one thing I did like about the show last night. And that was the message of, "If you want it, ask for it." Basically, assert yourself! So many people don't want to cause problems, they don't want to cause controversy, so much so that they become living breathing door mats! There is a time and a place to put others needs before yours, but there is also a time and a place to put your needs before others.

On the Biggest Loser last night there was this guy named Aaron, and he didn't do so good on the weigh in. He seemed like a very chill easy going guy, but he also appeared to be uninspired. He ended up being in the bottom half of the contestants and would have to do one last challenge, and would potentially be going home. Unless, he could convince this one guy that he deserved immunity. Aaron waited and waited, and didn't talk to the Immunity Guy. All the other contestants were crying and telling Immunity Guy why they deserved to stay on the show. Then they showed a clip of a workout where the trainer Bob was screaming at them, "If you want something, just reach out and take it!" (Or something along those lines.)



That is when the light bulb went off in Aaron's head. After the workout he went and talked to Immunity Guy about how he really did want to stay on the show. And guess who got immunity? That's right, Aaron. So, yay! Let's all shed a few happy tears, and then think about what you and I can learn from this story.

We are not always going to get 'Immunity'. Sometimes life doesn't work out. But you should still reach out and take what you want/need/deserve. Sometimes this is just something you do. Like me going buying that food for the 21 Day Challenge, or if I really want some new bike gear, if I just take the plunge and spend the money. Sometimes I feel like I have to justify these purchases, especially in my relationship with Aaron. But what I need to realize is that it is okay to have give AND take. He doesn't mind, he wants me to have the things I desire and need. Why do I always feel like I have to give, give, give? And don't think for one second that I'm sitting here saying that I am selfless. I am nothing of the sort. I am selfish, because the reason I give, give, give? I want to be a martyr. I want people to praise me and think I'm selfless. It is a dark truth about myself, and I am a bit ashamed of it. But, all I can do is learn from this.

Then there's the asking part of being assertive. Sometimes you have to ask or tell someone what you want. This is hard for me because I fear conflict, again probably because I want to impress everyone with my wonderful 'glue' skills (meaning, the way I am commonly referred to as the 'glue' in relationships.) I'm sick of this too. I WANT things, so I'm going to ASK for them. I know me better than anyone else, so why do I feel I need to wait for something to figure out what I want/need/deserve? That is the most ineffective way to get anything! So ask for things and tell people what you want! I am really digging this 21 day challenge. The food is pretty good and it is so simple. Plus a nutritionist from Fit Foods emails me every day with encouragement and to see how I'm doing. They have also been asking for my weight every day...At first I was like, "Okay, didn't know I was supposed to report that EVERY day." I've had problems with focusing on my weight before and becoming obsessed with the numbers. I don't want to do that anymore. So I realized their was a simple solution. I am going to ASK if it is okay if I only weigh in once, maybe twice, a week. I am going to TELL the nutritionist (who is super nice btw) that I have a problem with getting fixated on numbers and it sometimes derails me if they aren't looking as good as they should. And finally, this is the part that takes real balls on my part, I am going to suggest that they make this an option in the future, especially for their clients who have my kind of history with obesity.

All of these concepts seem so simple once I write them down, but they are a real struggle for me. So, if anyone reads this :) I CHALLENGE YOU! ASSERT YOURSELF!




Now for my 21 Day Challenge Recap for Tuesday. It went pretty good. I did have my 1 cheat meal for lunch because I promised my bro-n-law we'd go out to eat. I kept it light though w/chicken, rice, and soup. Other that that, the meal plan was as follows:

Breakfast - Good Morning Breakfast (ground turkey, cheese, rice, etc.)


Snack - Chicken & Fruit Bowl
(sorry for got to take a picture)

Snack - 3 Chocolate Almond Patties


Dinner - Ninja Tenderloin. (Tenderloin and spinach)


I aboslutely loved everything on the menu, except the 2 Chocolate Almond Patties. You can imagine the excitement when I saw Chocolate Almond Patties on the menu for yesterday! But they turned out to be rather bland brownie kind of things. No biggie, I just expected something different. I guess I should have known chocolate and diet don't go well together.

The really bad news? I didn't exercise yesterday and I don't think I will be able to today. I'm not trying to make excuses, but we are moving this Thursday so I have been swamped. I plan on making up for yesterday and today by exercising this weekend. Oh well, can't dwell on what can't be helped. I'll just have to follow my meal plan to a T :)

Thanks for reading and have a great day!

Monday, October 4, 2010

Day 1 of 21 Day Challenge & Hot 100 Challenge Updates

You know those posts about commitment? Well, I'm glad I wrote them, because they are all that got me out of bed yesterday morning. My alarm when off at 4 and I was lying in bed thinking how oh so comfy I was, but then I thought of those posts and new I had to get up!

So I did, and it was totally worth it! I got up and stated my 21 Day My Fit Foods Challenge. Sunday Aaron and I went to get the food. It was so exciting! :) Yes, I'm a dork, excited about pre-packed foods. Well, this morning it was super convenient to grab what was on the schedule to eat for today.

Breakfast - Oatmeal
Snack - Fruit & Yogurt
Lunch - 2 Chicken Tacos
Snack - 1 Chicken Taco
Dinner - Chicken Fajitas



So how was it?
The oatmeal was pretty bland, but I expected it to be. It did fill me up like crazy.
The Fruit and yogurt was delicious! All of the fruit was so fresh! And dipping it in the yogurt made it like desert :)
The Chicken Tacos were really good too. They come in a pack of 3, 2 for lunch and 1 for a snack. I wanted to eat all of them. But, I'm glad I restrained myself.
The Chicken Fajitas were so good! There were 3 strips of chicken, 2 tortillas, and a ton of vegetables that were so fresh! There were even carrots! Who would have known those would be so freaking good in fajitas?

The Liver Cleanse

Another thing I have to do is the Liver Cleanse (12 oz of water, 6oz of pure cranberry juice, 1 TBSP of Vinegar). Oh it is so bitter, and it does smell like Easter eggs. But whatever, it isn't so disgusting that I want to throw up.

Exercise
I also got a good workout in. Did about 30 minutes of strength training, then 30 minutes of cardio (elliptical/treadmill). It felt really awesome.

Last night I did start to feel kind of sick. I don't know if this is because I'm detoxing or what, but I started running fever. I took ibuprofen and went to bed. Unfortunately, I think it relaxed me too much and I did allow myself to sleep in this morning. I need the rest though, because I really can't afford to get sick. I did bring up my workout clothes, and I plan on spending an hour outside run/walking after work, which will be very nice considering this weather! :)

Hot 100 Update


1. Able to do 40 Situps in 1 Minute - Yesterday I did 12 sit ups. I'm going to do 12-15 sit ups every day this week. So, I'm on my way :)

2. Fit into a size 14 pants - Working on that per the exercise and the 21 day challenge. Right now I'm fitting well into a size 16.

3. From Houston to New Orleans (Walk/Bike/Run the mileage) - So far I've covered 7.8 miles out of 349. I know that these miles will really start to tick away when I start biking to work next week. I'll be covering 14 miles a day in biking alone, so I'm not too worried that I haven't covered that much ground yet. But hey, every mile counts! :)

Mad Music Monday

I'm always so jealous of those cute little blogs that have their themed days. So, I've decided to make today MAD MUSIC MONDAY! And don't worry, I'm not really mad, I just like alliteration a lot.

So today, I'm going to share five songs that I'm liking today :)

1. Timbaland - The Way I Are ft. Keri Hilson, D.O.E., Sebastian




2. Orphaned Land - Of Temptation Born




3. "LIKE A G6" (OFFICIAL) FAR EAST MOVEMENT (FM) feat The Cataracs & Dev




4. Obsession - Animotion




5. Marilyn Horne - Una voce poco fa





Hope you enjoy them :) As you can see, I like a diverse set of music.

PS - I am starting the 21 day challenge today and so far so good. I'll be posting an update tonight from home with pics of the food/etc. So please check back!

Friday, October 1, 2010

Commitment Part 2 - My Commitments

It has been a long time, long time for me at least, since I've devoted a post to weight loss. I don't count the Hot 100 Challenge since I tried to stay away from numbers on the scale and such. I like it, I plan to keep it that way, it makes me happier to share OTHER aspects of my life other than my obsession with weight loss. But today, I'm returning to the subject...hopefully with a new approach, resolve, and commitment (hence the title).

Yay, it is October 1st. Start to a new month and that always makes me happy, new beginnings. I have a lot of new beginnings coming up, and I have been contemplating my level of commitment to these things (if that wasn't obvious from my post yesterday.) Today I'd like to go a little more in depth.

The first thing I guess I should understand is what exactly I'm committing to at this point in my life. I have long term goals, but I want to focus on my immediate goals that effect this next month of October. So here they are in a nut shell:

  1. Hot 100 Challenge
  2. My Fit Foods 21 Day Challenge
  3. Work Out 5 Days Per Week
  4. Bike to Work (Starting 10/12/2010)

That's it! Simple right? Yeh, not so much. When I start thinking about the details my stomach gets twisted into knots. I mean, with each goal there are usually all these little min-goals that help you to accomplish the big goals, so that means 4 goals can be transformed into 20+ mini-goals, and then, and then, and then...

Sheesh! Makes me feel like eating a big tub of ice cream! But I'm not going to. Instead I'm going to do something to help me understand my goals, the mini-goals that come along with it, and how they all relate to one another. (This one's for you Candy...) I'm going to make a flow chart! Yay! Flow chart time :)


(Click to make it bigger)

You see! Doesn't that make life easier? Does for me. Makes me feel more organized and sane. I mean, I knew all these things that I wanted to do before I wrote them down, but now I don't have to second guess myself.

You can see the biggest bubble, and the one they all point to, is the Hot 100 Challenge which we all know about from a previous post.

The next biggest bubble is the 21 Day Challenge I'm starting this coming Monday. This is almost as big as the Hot 100 Challenge because, well, let's be honest; It is EXPENSIVE!

My Fit Foods is this place that makes food that they package, good for four days, and totally organic/healthy/and balanced. I have decided to commit to their 21 day challenge, where you commit to eat 3 meals and 2 snacks a day from them. No caffeine, no alcohol, but you do get to do this yummy (aka-yucky) liver cleanse thing every morning. Sounds great right? I mean, it isn't even gimmicky. It just takes the guess work out of cooking, and I really don't like cooking or worrying about what I'm going to eat. I mean, most of my problem with health/weight loss is food. It isn't even the control factor. It is just that I'm LAZY when it comes to food. (gasp, I know, I admitted it) I don't prepare, I don't really like preparing, and so I find myself driving through somewhere or giving into the temptation. My theory is if I already have all of my food I won't even be faced with that temptation. So, I'm willing to spend about $500 (that's right, OMG, I feel so freaking selfish doing this) on this super healthy food. Originally I thought "NO WAY!" But then I started breaking it down. No trips to the grocery store, nothing. This is my entire food cost for almost the whole month. I don't even have to do dishes.

I will admit one reason it is kind of expensive is that when you commit to the 21 day challenge a nutritionist makes out your food plan. Now, if it were me I would be eating the cheapest thing on the menu (oatmeal) every morning of the week. But, he has made me out a nice diverse meal plan. I mean really, it looks pretty tasty. After the challenge, if it is successful and I want to keep up purchasing things from them, I will try to take the cheaper route. I just can't stand the idea of blowing 500+ a month on food just for me. But this month I'm going all out. Lol, of course I'm going to try and cut back on every other possible expense, haha, so hopefully that will help with the guilt factor.

The other goals are pretty self explanatory.

Now, the problem I run into is I love goals, I just don't always accomplish them all because I like making so many of them. But this is it. Nothing else for the month of October, and you notice there is no weight goals. Because I don't care. All I want is that size 14 jeans by the end of the year. I know that is totally obtainable, yay! But back to what I was saying...I make all these goals, I get so excited and pumped up, and I don't face the reality of commitment (see yesterday's post).

Things are not always going to be easy.


Bam! That is the really difficult one. So from the get go I want to be completely honest with myself about the things that are not going to be easy about my goals. Here we go...complete honesty...

  • Fear of looking stupid when riding my bike to work.
  • Waking up at 4:00 a.m. to ride my bike to work and workout.
  • Annoyance and having to get all my stuff together for the day at 4:00 a.m.
  • Annoyance at having to take a shower at the gym.
  • Annoyance at not being able to give Aaron extra hugs in bed in the morning (this is a BIG one).
  • Annoyance when my husband makes, or asks me to make, something yummy for dinner for him. (Another BIG one)
  • Irritation of not getting a 'fun' drink in the morning.
  • Irritation on those occasions that water doesn't taste so good.
  • Irritation when I have to drive up to Houston and pick up my food instead of going home and being lazy.
  • Fear of embarrassment when I go out to eat with other people and having to explain what I'm doing. (Another BIG one)
  • Fear of failure. (BIGGEST one)
Did you ever notice how scary it is to be honest with yourself? Well, it feels great when you are. After writing these things out and looking them each in the face I know that I can overcome them. All of them have to do with irritation, annoyance, fear...notice none of them say "I WILL DIE WITHOUT AN ENERGY DRINK IN THE MORNING" Lol, it is possible to over come each and every one of these things.

So, that is about it for my commitments this October. I know that if I'm steadfast I can accomplish each and every one, no problem.

And when I'm done...

Well, let's just say a manicure, pedicure, haircut, waxing, and a new outfit is in order :)

Thanks for reading!