We've Got This!

So today I had the last lunch...kinda like last supper, but maybe not as hard core...since, well, this last lunch I eat in order to extend my life, not end it.

Monday 7 friends and I are starting a Biggest Loser challenge. It is a month long challenge, and my personal goals are to:

-Consume 1200 calories or less a day
-Of those 1200 calories they will not be made up of soda or candy, but instead I can only eat fruits, veggies, plain meat, and a small amount of bread/carbs. Don't worry, I'll take vitamins!
-Exercise 6 days a week
-BLOG every day of the challenge (shock, I know. I need to get back into this blogging thing)
-I will not eat the peanut butter egg that is in my desk until 6/1/2010, once I have completed the challenge :)

I want to win this, I want to finish this. 50 pounds more, that is all I'm asking. The other day I finally admitted it out loud to my husband.

I admitted that I am disappointed in myself. The Cabaret audition is in a week. I'm not to my goal. It is 99.999% sure that I won't get the part I REALLY have ALWAYS wanted to play because I am still overweight.

How many opportunities have I let pass me by? How many times have I let myself down. I hate letting others down, I should hate letting myself down just as much.

I'm not saying this to bash myself.

I'm saying this because it is the LAST time I'm going to say it.

50 more pounds?

I'll tell you what I have to say to 50 more pounds.

I'll say what I said to many people going up the hills during the MS150

"We've got this!"

See you at the finish line!

Great Weekend...

What a great weekend! What was so great about it you may ask?

#1 - Got to spend it with the most wonderful husband in the world!!

#2 - I bought a 2002 Focus!!!! :) And it is in great shape, got a good deal on it, payments are low, it is going to allow me to travel!!! Yay! I am such a dork, I don't know why but I've always wanted a focus hatch wince high school, lol. And now I have one!

#3 - I went on a bike ride! ~35 miles. It was great! I rode up to work and back, so now I'm going to start commuting via bike. Can't today because I have a weird workout schedule, but I'm planning on starting tomorrow. I got a bike headlight and lock, so I'm ready to go! A little nervous about riding in the dark, but I know a route where the traffic isn't bad at all, so I am sure I will be okay. With the MS150 being just two weeks away, I know it will help in my training.

#4 - I sold the VW!!!! If you didn't know, I had a 1995 VW Golf. It was in OKAY condition for a commuter car. But I felt trapped with that car. I was always scared to drive out more than 30 miles from my house because that is outside of my 'free' towing range. It got me through 5 months, and I will miss the little thing. But man was I happy when only 4 hours after posting it on craigslist it SOLD! Eeee!

#5 - THEN! After selling it my husband and I went and bought a Wii!!! Yay, what fun! Debating on whether or not I should pick up the Wii Fit or EA Active game. Maybe I'll find one used cheap. I'm not willing to pay full price, sorry!

So, what is on the agenda today? Well, work is going to be weird for the next couple of weeks. Not going to be at my normal desk and can't goof around as much. Oh well. Good thing is I definitely won't be able to sit at my desk snacking all day. :) Tonight I'm probly going to go with my sister to do some Zumba at 6:30. At 5:45 there is a body sculpting class I'd also like to go to, but I'll have to see when I get off work. When I get home I really want to do some spinning, maybe 30 minutes? Then play some Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! :)

Oh, btw, I'm trying a new approach. Inches, not pounds. So I guess I better get to measuring.

bust - 45.5

waste - 40

hips - 48.75

roll - 48

thigh - 27.75

arm - 15

Alright, seriously need to start getting ready for work now. Have a great day!

Well, if you want to...

Well, if you want to sing out, sing out
And if you want to be free, be free
‘Cause there’s a million things to be
You know that there are

And if you want to live high, live high
And if you want to live low, live low
‘Cause there’s a million ways to go
You know that there are

You can do what you want
The opportunity’s on
And if you can find a new way
You can do it today
You can make it all true
And you can make it un-do
You see? Ah, ah, ah
It’s easy, ah, ah, ah
You only need to know

Well if you want to say yes, say yes
And if you want to say no, say no
‘Cause there’s a million ways to go
You know that there are
And if you want to be me, be me
And if you want to be you, be you
‘Cause there’s a million things to do
You know that there are

You can do what you want
The opportunity’s on
And if you can find a new way
You can do it today
You can make it all true
And you can make it un-do
You see? Ah, ah, ah
It’s easy, ah, ah, ah
You only need to know

Well, if you want to sing out, sing out
And if you want to be free, be free
‘Cause there’s a million things to be
You know that there are
You know that there are
You know that there are
You know that there are
You know that there are

Spinning, Zumba, and Competition

Yesterday was not a bad day. I didn't eat very well. My hubby was sick, and begged for whataburger...so, I indulged. I'm pretty surey I maintained. The good news is I got up early this morning and got stuff so we can eat at home for pretty much the next two weeks. :)

The reason yesterday wasn't bad is that I really pushed it working out. I had a spinning class, and since I have been road biking it is a lot easier for me to simulate real biking in class. Knowing I have a 47+ mile ride this weekend with hills I knew I needed to squeeze out any training I could get. So, for an hour, I pushed it. Instead of just putting a little resistance on the bike, I pumped it up. 'This is a HILL' I kept telling myself. It felt awesome!

Of course, after that I was meeting my sister for a Zumba class. And I mean, it was IMMEDIATELY after the spinning class. I kept up for about thirty minutes and then headed home. So, I really like Zumba. But, I'm really bad at it. Oh well, guess I'll keep going until I'm good at it. I mean, dang, look at these women! Holy poo! I'd love to look like that...curvy but not fat.

Now, to the competition part of my post. Well, this chick I know replied to a status message of mine on facebook. The status message was about me going to the gym. She said that she was working out really hard to get ready for the summer, and that she knows we are gonna look really hot. I've always felt competative toward this chick. I don't really know why. She has always been slightly smaller than me. She keeps loosing weight so that she is always just a little bit smaller. She's nice, I don't wish her ill will. But on the rare occasions I actually see her...man, I always like to look good when I do. So, seeing that from her I'm imagining her squeezing into a really cute bathing suit. Talk about lighting a fire under my butt!

So, what is planned for today?

Well, for breakfast I just had some cheerios, soymilk, and 1/2 a banana. I have some juice at work (veggie and fruit). Before I leave work (around 4) I'm going to have a cracker, banana, and some peanut butter. And tonight, I'll eat a PORTION SIZE of whatever my husband wants for dinner. (All healthy food that can be cooked at home. Also, I'm going to go for a bike ride after work. I'm planning about a 20ish mile ride.

Hope everyone has a great day!

When the Scale Tolls...

The other day my sister put a note on my facebook page. She probably thinks I've been ignoring it, but I haven't.

Are you ever going to blog again?

I honestly haven't had the answer, so, I simply didn't answer her. But here I am, yes, I'm blogging again. There is no point describing how I've fallen off the horse. I think we all know how that goes. My sister's comment did remind me that people are watching. Unfortunently, that is not always enough motivation. I'm good at not finishing things. I know that if you just don't say anything about your failure that people will eventually stop asking. They don't you or themselves to feel awkward about it. I pretty much was doing that. I kept asking myself, "Ug, why did you tell everyone you were starting this blog? Now they all expect something.."

But is that such a bad thing? Expectations? I should have the highest expectations of myself most often. I just hate telling people about them in case I fail. And I feel like a failure. I know I've lost a LOT of weight. I know I look way better than I used to. I know I am a lot healthier. I know, I know, I know...but I don't really believe it.

The only thing in the world that will cement that fact in my mind is the scale. I got on it this morning, it wasn't good. It keeps saying the wrong thing. I know why, I've been eating absolute crap even though I've still been exercising.

It still seems wrong though, what the scale says. The manufactorers got it wrong. It isn't supposed to tell you your fat, it is supposed to say...

You ARE going to lose 50+ pounds!

Congrats, you are going to change your life today!

You've lost .2 pounds! Yay!

You look hot!

Sexy momma.

Good job, go have morning sex.

People are going to notice your success today.

It is possible! You're proving it.

Make the right choice and you will succeed!

See, that is what those numbers mean. That is what the scale should say in my mind instead of; fat, gross, hopeless, impossible, still so far to go.

Today I want to make the right choices. I started by blogging. Because I don't want to not finish this. It is my life to live as I will. And I will live it as a healthy and happy person. No matter how the scale tolls.

Juicing, Comments and 46.5 miles!

Hey guyz! :P I am feeling so wonderful this morning. I'm so happy to be posting. I meant to post yesterday, but I was so extremely tired.

So yesterday I tried juicing for the first time! And let me tell you, juicing your own fruits/veggies is awesome! It tastes amazing and fills you up and gives you energy. I plan on replacing all but at least one meal with juicing for the next week. I've been reading up about it, and I really think it would be good for me. Yesterday I had fresh apple-grape juice, and then I had apple/celery juice. They were both delicious. Try this people! I tell you it is awesome and you can get a cheap juicer at wal-mart for $30! Mines seems to be working just fine.

I also want to thank everyone who has left comments. Can you believe it I haven't read them in like a week. I was ashamed, yeh yeh, stupid emotions they make you do stupid things like not look at comments on your blog. But this morning I thought, and yes I really thought this, "Dang it Olivia! Let yourself be encouraged!" Lol, so I read them and I DO feel encouraged!! So THANK YOU for not giving up on me when I almost do.

Now, the really cool part of post is about the bike ride I did yesterday! It was called the Humble Lions Bike Ride, and it was absolutely wonderful! Kyra and I did the 46.5 mile route! That is right! From 29 miles to 46.5 miles! And almost all of it was, not easy, but fun! The last 10 miles or so felt very long. But most of the route was through country rodes that weren't busy. We saw lots of cows and birds, and a few raccoons sleeping on the road. Silly raccoons, they just love sleeping in the road. We met up with Alison and her boy friend, whom she calls Peach...well, here, let me tell the story through some awesome pics that Alison took!

This is everyone lining up at the start. It is so fun to see all the different kinds of bikes and all the different kinds of people. I'm telling you, anyone and everyone is capable of enjoying road biking. Young, old, small, large...everyone is out there giving it a shot.

From left to right; me, Alison, and Kyra. Don't we look cool! I was surprised by, well, how not gigantic I look in this picture. I have a shape, and I don't necessarily look like the fat friend that is along for the ride.

We're back there, at the starting line. Me and Kyra. (Look for the girl in the white jacket and the girl in the blue jacket/blue helmet/blue bike.) That's right, Kyra is so extremem all her stuff matches! She is adorable.

This is Alison and her boyfriend, Peaches as she calls him. She is super nice! And is also doing the MS150. We are going to start training with her a couple of times during the week. Peaches has done two Iron Man Triathlons! Crazy! Sounds cheesy, but it is so cool to hang out with healthy/athletic people.

Have a good day!

Reset

How many times is it possible to hit that reset button? Seriously. But if I was willing to sit in front of a Nintendo and hit reset a million times until a game worked, then surely I am willing to hit my personal reset button until my body/mind work correctly.

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