3 Miles, Leg Warmers, and Cement Bags

Okay, so can I just say the first day of 2010 was absolutely wonderful!

I ran, without stopping:

3 Miles!

Me and my sister Sam went to Galveston and ran on the seawall. We started by this McDonalds on the East End and ran all the way to this pier that has an old hotel on it called the Flagship. Sam ran on the beach. It was nice that she was running 'with' me, but not. ((Sam is in her late 30s, perfect size, and pretty in shape btw. She has always encouraged me by exercising with me and trying out any new little sport that I want to try, and sometimes she encourages me to try sports I would NEVER try, as you will see later in this post.)) The whole time I was running I could see the Flagship in the distance, so the first part was really easy (well, not easy, but certainly doable). I kept telling myself that when I got there I'd walk like a block and turn around and then run the other 1.5 miles.

But you know what I did!? I DIDN'T stop! :) I looped around a light post ((probably hoping the loop would act as a sling and give me more energy, lol)) and kept a going. I would be lying if seeing Sam down there on the beach, all skinny and pretty, wasn't motivating. But more than being jealous of the way she looked, the thing that motivated me most was that sometimes I was ahead of her! She also had to stop and walk a couple of times. Now, I know that she is in good shape, but it felt good to be good at something, you know?

Running back I couldn't see the McDonald's we started at. So, I just kept challenging myself...alright run for two more songs, then you can walk. Alright, run until that stop light. And then, when I turned this slight corner on seawall and saw the golden arches I almost started crying. I was beginning to realize I was going to make it. I was going to run 3 miles, much further than I have ever run in the 26 years I've been living. I don't ever want to not be able to run 3 miles again (if that makes sense, lol, that sentence feels like it was jumbled.)

You know, I always say "When I started I could barely do 5 minutes on the elliptical." You know what? That really isn't the truth. I couldn't do 60 seconds! I am so proud of myself, and I am usually one of those who really needs someone to pat them on the back. But yesterday, running towards those golden arches for something other than chicken nuggets...well, I realized that I was doing it all for me, and that I deserved it.

Okay, getting teary eyed at 6:30 a.m. is not really a good thing, so I'm gonna move on :)

So.....remember how I said my sister Sam encourages me to try new sports? Well she got me two really cool gifts for Christmas. The first is a day by day runners log. It was so great to start on the first day of that calendar and enter my first 3 miles run.

Well, the next thing she got me is something we've talked about before, but if I am honesty...I don't think it would have every happened if she wouldn't have just bought them for me.....ROLLERBLADES! I know you all do not know me as well as some, but let me tell you, I am usually very afraid of falling. My first instinct when seeing these rollerblades was to throw them away, literally. But you know what? I really DO want to rollerblade. I don't care how 80s & dorky it is! :) So I am not going to let the fear of a bruised butt stop me. Last night I strapped them on in the garage, lol, and gave myself a mini-lesson. I was able to stand up and move around a little bit. This morning Sam and I are meeting at a park at 8:30 to try them out together. ((She is lucky and just has regular skates, btw)) I know I'm gonna fall, and that is okay. I'll be alright, just hopefully won't twist an ankle or anything, because I really wanna keep running regularly.

So, be looking for a picture tomorrow of me in all the necessary equipment; helmet, wrist guards, elbow pads, knee pads, rollerblades...and I am seriously thinking of tracking down some leg warmers to finish it off :)

Another great thing that happened yesterday is my husband started working on our back fence which has been down since Hurricane Ike! Poor baby, I know it was some really hard work. At one time he asked me to help him haul bags of cement from the garage to the back yard. Me, being the awesome wife that I am, lol, said, "Sure sweetie!" I went into the garage, squated in front of the bags of cement and......couldn't lift one up. Not at all! That thing was sooooooooooooo heavy. Like, break your back heavy. I had to do what I hate to do and tell him I couldn't help. He was understanding, because he is almost as awesome as I am :)...

But a few minutes later he came into the house and randomly said, "Babe, how much pain were you in?" I was a bit perplexed, but he proceeded to explain, "You've lost like 70 lbs right?"

"Yes," I replied.

"Those bags of cement were 80 lbs a piece. You couldn't even lift one up. When I carried them everything hurt; my joints, my back. I couldn't imagine what kind of pain you were in carrying 70 extra pounds around."

This made my eyes get big with amazement, because he was right. I can't really remember any pain, but I know that 70 pounds must have caused my body some major major stress. This sounds so stupid, but I'd love to organize a walk/run where people who have lost considerable amounts of weight challenge themselves to walk even a 1/4 of a mile carrying something comparable to the weight they have lost. And then, in the end throw it down and run a mile. Maybe I'll do it myself when I'm all done.

Food wise yesterday I did okay. I am pretty sure I was right at my 1500 calorie mark:

Sandwich, chips, dessert - 555 Calories

Sm. Orange - 20 Calories

Microwave Dinner & dessert - 330 Calories

Microwave Dinner - 375 Calories

Dessert - 50 Calories

Chips - 150 Calories

------------

Total: 1480

Ran for 45 minutes - 450 Calories

BMI +2200

Exercise +450

Calories - 1480

------------------

Total Deficit: 1170

I'm happy with that :) as long as my deficit is at least 1000 calories.

Today I'm meeting Sam at a park at 8:30 to rollerblade. I'm actually going to head up there early and do a short run. I'm not going to push myself to do 3 miles again until probably Tuesday or Wednesday. But next Saturday is my first 5K! :)

I hope everyone has a WONDERFUL DAY!

Sassy & Thin in 2010!

Alright people, this is the official New Years day post! :)

Went to Candice's this morning and I weighed in at....

200.8!

Whew! I was really worried that I gained a bunch of weight back. I can't tell you how happy that number made me. The lowest I've ever been is 199 and the highest is 269.

I've also taken some 1/1/2010 pictures :) Oh yeh!

Man, I know I have come a long way...but those pictures are still plenty of motivation (for my pics at my starting weight of 269 see my first ever post; Getting Started.)

So, what are my resolutions eh? Well, actually I'm not making any resolutions! At least not for new years...I made a list of things I want to do during my 26th year of life (as I am 26) and that is what I'm mainly going to stick to. I also joined the Perfect 10 Challenger, so those are kind of resolutions.

The main thing I want to do this year is change my life. Last night I took the dogs outside and looked up at the Blue Moon. Someone told me that they only occur once every 20 years, and for it to fall on New Years Eve? Well, I'm taking that as a sign, and a promise to myself. Last night, looking up at that beautiful moon, I promised myself that I would change my life this year, and I will. I am going to LIVE!

Now there is one thing I am going to do that is 'goal' oriented starting today. Every 21 days I am going to form a new habit, that means every 21 days I will make a new resolution. They won't necessarily be weight loss related.

My first one?

21 Days - Goal #1

Get Sassy! AKA - Girly

I am not the most girly of people, but I want to be. I want to be pretty, I want to dress nice, I want to do my hair everyday, I want to wear makeup every day.

So, for the next 21 days I will spend at least 30 minutes every morning grooming myself,

and I will spend 3 hours a week doing extra grooming (aka-shaving, etc.)

Man, my husband is gonna be so happy :)

So this post may not be that inspiring, but it will be a year from now.

Have a great New Year!

The "I'm not that big, am I?" Game

I think most of us have played it; the "I'm not that big sweetie, am I?" Game. Funny how you know when to ask the question, when you see someone that is WAY bigger than you are. I don't think it is anything against the other person. It is just something we all need every once and a while. We need to know we aren't the worst.

Well, since I have lost some weight sometimes the game changes into the "I wasn't that big was I?" game.

Why does this matter? I don't really know. If anyone has some psychological insight into why I want to ask this question of my spouse, please let me know.

Last night my husband and I were watching Nip/Tuck. It was an episode where the handsome and overly sexual Dr. Troy has sex with a fat woman named Lola. The show doesn't leave anything to the imagination...you pretty much see Lola in the full buff...and it is, well, she is a BIG girl.

And you know I asked it,

"Sweetie, I was never that big, was I?"

I think you can guess the answer I got. I love my husband's honesty, but for some reason when he said, "Weeeeell, she might be a little bigger than you were, but yeh, you were about that big." It hurt.

I'm not mad at my hubby. I mean, when I get to my goal weight and ask if I look as good as Scarlett Johanson...well, then I know he is going to be telling the truth when he says, "Hells to the yeah!" :)

Maybe it makes me so sad, because that big girl will always be a part of me. It is scary that she will always be a possibility. But you know what? Scarlett Johanson is another possibility...all be it one I haven't experienced yet, but I'm getting there.

This is my challenge to all of us who have played the "I'm not that big, am I?" game. No more people! No more comparing ourself to the worst possibility just so we can be reassured we aren't scraping the bottom of the barrel. We know what is good bout us...

I have a pretty complexion,

I have silky healthy hair,

Sometimes my eyes are really beautiful,

I can sing really well,

I have a pretty neck,

My hips are sexy!,

I have a sexy phone voice (lol)...

And the list goes one...that is right! The list goes on!!

We are beautiful. Even if our weight (or past weight) defines us to an extent...there are other things that define me too. And I don't have to focus on the bad, I can choose (just as I have chosen the opposite in the past) to focus on the good.

So there is a new game ladies and gentleman!

The...

"Sweetie? Am I as hot/sexy/beautiful/talented as....well, ME!"

And you know what? Being as hot/sexy/beautiful/talented as me...well, that is pretty freaking awesome!

I'll post my official New Years post later, but I wanted to get this one out there. Morning everybody :D

Fasting & 10 Things

Today I am doing a liquid fast, and I have to say I feel pretty awesome. This is something I'm going to start doing twice a week. I have read a lot of things about fasting, for weight loss and health. There are lots of benefits, and I encourage anyone who is skeptical to research it. I'm not 'starving' myself, so no worries there. I want to lose this weight permanently, and I know that has to be through a sustainable life style..that means I have to know how to eat in a healthy way..but even when I reach my goal weight I want to fast periodically. Mainly because fasting reduces acidity in the body, and therefore helps to prevent cancer, etc.
**Warning, the following may be Too Much Info**
One time I fasted for four days, and can you believe it? I still had to go #2 after four days of not eating. That means poo just hangs out for in your body for at least 4 days! crazy and gross!

So....today I'm fasting and I am finding it EXTREMELY easy. I was trying to figure out why, why I've always thought it was easier to just not eat at all...and I think I've narrowed it down to two reasons:

1. There is only 1 choice; not to eat. You don't have to choose to eat just one piece of pizza...or one and a half...or what the heck just eat the whole pizza.....no, you just don't eat.

2. The expectation is to be hungry. Usually when I am eating, I can't help but expect to be full by the end. I don't just mean satisfied, I mean FULL...a bloated feeling almost. But when I'm fasting, I expect to be hungry, so it doesn't really bother me. Sure my stomach grumbles, but I've never felt faint. Did you know that the feeling of hunger is not always an indication that you need to eat? Your brain sends signals to your stomach to start growling a couple of hours after you eat...even if you really don't need any nourishment. Just something to think on.

I've seen where some other people have been posting 10 Things that Make them Happy! I think I'm gonna do the same.

1. My Boxer Rex :)

2. A good book..preferrably some Fantasy, or Twilight, or Jane Austin!


3. Hugging :)

4. Hanging out w/my best friend, Candice.


5. Listening to good music!

MSTRKRFT
BACH
BRAHMS
DEPECHE MODE
SWALLOW THE SUN
KATATONIA
DEICHKIND
ETC

6. Kayaking!


7. Good movies! Like LOTR, Wall-E, and Pride&Prejudice


8. Daydreaming about the future...and planning for it.

9. Driving the mustang....fast :)


10. The Beach...



I hope that everyone has the most wonderful New Years!

Remember...

"Don't pursue happiness -- create it"

"Your future is whatever you make of it, so make it a good one."

"Do not let great ambitions overshadow small success."

We can do this people.
We are the only ones with the power to change anything.
One life, one choice.

Woohoo!
Sassy & Thin in 2010!!
Yeah baby!!!

Perfect 10

Let me rehash yesterday and my plan for today before I get into the Perfect 10 Challenge.

Yesterday I did really well, I think. My calories were just at 1500, because I got REALLY hungry when I got home. I worked out for 15 minutes on the Elliptical (180 calories), 10 minutes run/walking (50 calories) and 10 minutes biking (50 calories). That puts my caloric deficit at 1130. I really want to get it up to 1600, but I'm happy with anything about 1000. 1000 calorie a day deficit would mean about a 2 lb loss per week, and 1600 calories a day deficit would be about a 3 lb loss.

Today I'm going to go to the gym and lift weights for a good 30 minutes, then run...I really need to run at LEAST 2 miles. I know I can do this. Then I really want to push myself to do another 30 minutes on the elliptical. Even if it is a lite workout, that is fine. If I do that I will burn ~700 calories through exercise. Food wise I have had a V8 Splash, a banana, and an orange ((240 cals))...for lunch I brought a microwave dinner that is 280 cals, and for dinner tonight I will have another microwave dinner that will be no more than 300ish cals. I will probably also have some sugar free hot coco in a min, so 60 cals. If I stuck with that plan I would have a 2000 cal deficit today, woot! I'm gonna shoot for that!

Okay, now for something exciting! The Perfect 10 Challenge! You can see the challenge here if you are interested.

So, what are my goals?

1. Have at least a 1000 calorie deficit every day.
2. Run, no matter how short a distance, 5 days a week.
3. Weight train 3 days a week.
4. Drink 6 bottles of water per day.
5. Fast for 24 hours, twice a week (these will be my off days for exercise.)
6. Post my progress every day on my blog.
7. Weigh in every Friday.
8. Do 100 crunches after waking up, and 100 crunches before going to bed at least 5 days a week.
9. Eat a serving of fruits and a serving of vegetables every day.
10. Get 8 hours of sleep every night.

So, there it is! While these goals officially start Friday, I'm trying to implement them now. Wish me luck everybody. I'll be keeping you posted :)

New Name and Inspiration

So, I needed a new name for my blog for 2010. Candy suggested, "Sassy & Thin in 2010" I like it, so I stole it! Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha! But really, it is fun. Also stole the calendar idea from Deliberate Life, Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

In case you didn't understand, that is my evil laugh, lol.

Yesterday I stayed within 1500 calories, but I only ran 1/2 a mile as exercise. I'm still happy.

Today I am actually going to come in pretty low on my calories after dinner. Gonna hit around 1100 cals. Candice and I took a 30 minute walk earlier, and in an hour or so I'm gonna go to the gym for a good hard workout of some running and elliptical work. I'm pretty excited. Also going to weigh myself, which is really scary, but whatever.

So, I found the dress I'm aiming for, the dress I'm gonna wear that is gonna knock everyone socks off!

Drum roll please..................................



Here are a couple of websites that have really inspired me to work out today...oh, and they've inspired me to try and save up some money, lol:

http://www.daddyos.com/
http://bettyjane.com.au/index.php?p=home

Have a great day everyone!

More from yesterday..

Okay, so I wanted to type a lot more last night, but my husband was literally staring over my shoulder. Don't get me wrong, he can read anything I write here...but, when I'm writing I get into cheesy Olivia mode, and I would be embarrassed if someone actually watched while I wrote. I asked him if he was gonna read it...he said no, but shortly after he was like, "you drank coffee??" Okay, so yeh...this is kind of an extension of yesterday...

Yesterday I felt so victorious! What a difference one little day can make. I managed to eat well through out the day, and then when I got home I got out of the car, didn't even go inside my house, and went for a run. (It was sunny outside so I didn't want to go on the treadmill, and am avoiding the path at work because I'm scared of the deer, hehe.) I ran 1.95ish miles (sorry, I'm rounding it up to 2 miles)...and on the last 1/8 of a mile I sprinted. I just pushed and pushed and pushed. Was a very good workout!

Why after such a good feeling would I go back to my slovenly ways? It makes no sense, but I know that temptation is always there, so I have to be aware of it.

That brings me to a point I've been meaning to discuss...

A few days ago, when I got to work, a friend of mine left a comment on my instant messanger. He had left it the day before after reading some of my blog, especially the stuff about the 12 step stuff. Hopefully he doesn't mind me posting his comment here.

I just noticed your blog and read some. You are brave for putting that all out there. Yes, men are emotioanl eaters too, I sure am. I also do think that the addiction model works when emotional eating is involved as it does for alcohol. Both are ingested to change the way one feels - a sure indicator of addiction. AA tells new people not to get too wrapped up in the why (emotions), they tell you to just accept it and focus on what Jung called a rearrangement of the mind. Basically, you just need change everything and become something new. Here is a pretty good explanation: http://www.nautis.com/2004/08/node-89

The link he sent me was to an article. The most import part of which, in my mind, was the following;

"When Roland reportedly asked Jung if there was any sure way for an alcoholic to recover — truly recover, Jung is quoted as saying, “Yes, there is. Exceptions to cases such as yours have been occurring since early times. Here and there, once in a while, alcoholics have had what are called vital spiritual experiences. To me these are phenomena. They appear to be in the nature of huge emotional displacements and rearrangements. Ideas, emotions, and attitudes which were once the guiding forces of the lives of these men are suddenly cast to one side, and a completely new set of conceptions and motives begin to dominate them. In fact, I have been trying to produce some such emotional rearrangement within you. With many individuals the methods which I employed are successful, but I have never been successful with an alcoholic of your description.”

It seems that Jung’s pronouncement that the only hope for Roland was a “spiritual experience” was the final straw in Roland’s treatment. He was deflated to the point of “giving up.” As a result he had the 'rearrangement'..."

A few things stand out to me here...

• AA tells new people not to get too wrapped up in the why (emotions), they tell you to just accept it and focus on what Jung called a rearrangement of the mind.
• They appear to be in the nature of huge emotional displacements and rearrangements. Ideas, emotions, and attitudes which were once the guiding forces of the lives of these men are suddenly cast to one side, and a completely new set of conceptions and motives begin to dominate them.

I wish there was a recipe that would prompt this 'rearrangement', that would change my 'motives'. I read the wiki on Analytical Psychology, Jungian Archetypes and Individuation...and let me tell you, my head is hurting. I need to explore myself.

The part about, "AA tells new people not to get too wrapped up in the why (emotions)," Maybe there is something to this, and I plan to really investigate this thought. It is hard for me to conceive the idea that I can accept the way something is, and still change...no rearrange...it. That means you never really get rid of the temptation...something else just takes priority.

Again, something I just need to think on...I think there is something here. Acceptance and what not. I did find this poem, and somehow it made something click...somehow it helped me understand the kind of acceptance I need in order to choose to give priority to what I want in life...

The Guest House - By Rimi

This being human is a guest house
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

So, today I'm gonna try to do it again! I will be victorious! :) So far I had my Omelet Thinger (a bunch of veggies over egg beaters and some cheese). The good thing is I made it even healthier than usual by using very light butter (25 calories), and fat free cheese (35 calories)....it brought the whole thing to a total of about 150 calories.

Okay, think I'm gonna sneak back into bed for a bit and hug my hubby. I hope you all have a great day.

OH! almost forgot. I really wanted to thank everyone who has been commenting. I feel very flattered and motivated that people I respect, and read their blog almost every day, actually take their time to stop by and comment. Kinda feels like meeting a celebrity or something, hehe.