BLC - Day 16

THIS HAS 750 CALORIES!!!

DO NOT DRINK IT!

IT IS NOT WORTH IT!!

TRUST ME,
I KNOW,
I DRANK ONE TODAY,
AND IT DIDN'T EVEN TASTE AS GOOD AS
A GRILLED PIECE OF CHICKEN AND VEGGIES

WHICH IS LESS CALORIES!!!!!!!!

LARGE STRAWBERRY SHAKE

(IN MY DEFENSE IT WAS FREE)

((BUT IT STILL WASN'T WORTH IT))

BLC - Day 15

I am so happy today. It is the beginning of a week, a fresh start. And I don't feel completely awful for anything that has happened in the past. I feel like I've really been growing this last couple of years of my life. I feel a sense of clarity, that I understand life is a process, an experience. And I'm so ready for it, everyday I'm ready, everyday I'm thankful and happy. It used to be that I was waiting, that I was depressed, dispondent, and dissapointed (the three Ds!) But now, more often than not, I feel like I am alive! That I'm not waiting anymore. I guess getting older really does have its perks, I mean, I am not doubting myself all the time.

Speaking of doubting, I am 99.99999999999% sure I didn't get a part in Cabaret. :( I'll be 100% sure tonight if they don't call.

And you know what?
That is okay. I can't say that I'm sad or disappointed I didn't get a part. I learned something even more valuable when I went to that audition. I learned singing is something I want to do. And not the way I used to do it, all competitive and needing people to think I was good so I felt better about myself. I feel good about myself all on my own now! I don't need anyone's approval.

I also know that I am not the most special amazing person in the world. That doesn't mean I don't like ME. I do! Even more now that I realize all that pressure is gone...I don't have to be perfect or the best singer. I can be me.

This has translated as me being more and more comfortable with my body. Do I want to lose weight? Uh, yeah! But I'm not going to let my current body keep me from doing the things I want to do, or feeling good. My poor husband, I keep strutting around saying, "Wow, I have a hott butt," or "Hey, feel how muscular my legs are!" Lol, but I can tell he likes it ;)

Well anyway, I don't really know what the point of this post was, mainly just to get on here today and get to typing.

Tonight I have another audition for a musical. I'm excited :) I'm going to go in there just to have fun! And who knows! Maybe I'll get a part.

Oh, and btw, I lost a pound last week. Woot!

Thanks for reading and have a good day.

BLC - Day 11, Yay Day Pay Day!

Oh pay day. It is the key to all wonderfullness. So often I feel myself waiting till payday. Isn't it unfortunant that so many things we want to do are impossable without money? Sigh. I'm not saying that money is all there is, but let's face it, it is a big chunk of the pie.

For example, healthy food. It cost $$$! Yesterday I went and bought $210 worth of healthy healthy food! Veggies and chicken, it is very expensive. I almost had a heart attack watching it all ring up. 'Surely it wont' be more than $150?' I thought. YEH RIGHT!

But then yesterday I realized that food is so worth the cost. My mom called me because her blood sugar was at 500!!!! My husband did some research on if it was even possible for blood sugar levels to get that high. Well it is, and when it does get that high then you can literally go blind over night, it is also very likely that your body is going to simply shut down..meaning death, literally. Freaking crazy!

I talked to my mom, and she said that it wasn't a big deal. She just had eaten a ton of absolute CRAP because she was about to have a root canal and was worried she wouldn't be able to eat for a while.

How many times have I done this? Maybe not to this extent, but I think that I won't be able to eat for a while so I binge. This was seriously life or death, and my mom was willing to give it up for a candy bar!? And how can I honestly be surprised, I can see me doing that under the same circumstances.

Food is a life or death thing, that is what it comes down to. My mom sent me an email asking for food advice. She asked if it was 'okay' to drink Diet Coke. No it isn't okay!! The stuff in most diet sodas causes CANCER!

Oh, you may be thinking that is HIGHLY unlikely. But let's say someone put a gun in your hand and said, there is only a 1 in 1,000,000 chance this gun will go off. So why don't you stick it in your mouth and pull the trigger? Would you do it? What if the gun was made out of chocolate? Would you do it then?

This may seem extreme, but I'd rather be extreme and NOT take the 1 in a 1,000,000 chance. I am worth more than that.

Wow, that is totally not where I meant that post to go, lol. But it feels good and right.

Thanks for reading, and have a good day! :)

BLC - Day 9, Going Places

So last night I watched the Biggest Loser, cried like a baby. Mainly when Sunshine was talking about how she really felt beautiful for the first time. It was also very touching, seeing all those people realize how far they'd come. It made me very grateful for how far I've come; physically and emotionally.

It also really motivated me to finish this. It is time to finish. It is time to move on from fretting about the weight, time to reach my goal. I'm ready, I'm ready for a final hard push and then maintenance. (I'm sure that will be an adventure in and of itself.)

It will only take a few months, if that. Counting calories, eating healthy, exercising daily. All of which make me feel great! And heck, I even enjoy them some times.

So here goes nothing...I'm resigned and ready to do this...

Have a great day, and thanks for reading :)

BLC - Day 9, Sexy Calves?

Yesterday went well. Had a good workout with Helen, who told me as she ran past, lol, that I have 'sexy calves'. Really???? Me???? I'm such a dork that this made me have a huge boost of confidence. Primarily since I HATE my calves. I never ever thought that anyone would compliment those. So, yeh, I went to bed feeling like hot sh*t :)...also ran/walked 3 miles and rode my bike about 3 or 4 miles. Of course then I got home and my husband had went and got pizza, sigh. But, in contrast to when I would have eaten 4-6 slices I only had two.

Today I have really been inspired. BLC stands for the Biggest Loser Challenge a friend and I started at work. Today was the last day to weigh in for week 2. Not everyone had a loss, but many of the 14 people who joined the competition did. It is so uplifting to see those who didn't get the loss they wanted persevere, and those who lost 3, 4, 5 pounds jump with joy! Working together like this really helps. I can feel it pushing me and making me aware of something I haven't been previously. That we are all beautiful, and the true journey is health.

In the spirit of this I am going to challenge myself the rest of the week. I've slacked slightly the last few days, especially in the food department. But I'm not going to let this challenge, this group, down. This is the plan stan...

Food:
Breakfast - Apple & a Banana
Snack - Yogurt
Lunch - Tuna & Orange
Snack - Slimfast (HEB Generic Brand)
Dinner - Chicken Breast & Veggies

If I'm working out hard I will keep some super healthy granola bars on hand.

But that is it. That is the menu until next Monday. Now I'm just hoping that I get paid tonight so I can buy all this good food in the morning, haha. Cross your fingers!

Have a great night and thank you for reading!

BLC - Day 8

Sorry I didn't update this weekend, but there just wasn't time. Here's a quick breakdown of what REALLY happened:::

Friday
5:00 p.m. - Ran/Walked 3 Miles
6:30 p.m. - 30 minutes Spinning

Saturday
7:00 a.m. - Lifted Weights (20 minutes)
8:15 a.m. - Zumba'd for 15 minutes
((I stopped because I was freaking out about the auditions, stupid emotions))
Then I spent all day outside and ate: 2 Hot Dogs, 1 Hamburger, 2 Energy Drinks, 1 Corn Dog, some Beaver Nuts, and a soda! Yuck, I felt ABSOLUTELY horrible after this!!

Sunday
6:00 a.m. - Ran/Walked 2.5 miles, Biked 8 miles
1:30 p.m. - Auditioned for Cabaret, and I was really happy with how it went. Now just got to wait and see if I get a part. Either way I'm happy.

So today I'm trying to eat better than I did this weekend, shouldn't be hard, lol. Tonight I'm going to ride my bike another 8 miles and run/walk at least 3 miles. Tomorrow morning I'll get up early, swim, maybe do some running and biking, lift weights....then tomorrow evening do the bike/run thing again. I want to do that every day this week if possible.

Ug, so blah today. Really just want to go sleep....but I know that exercising tonight will boost my energy, so I'm gonna do it! :) Then go home and watch Dancing w/the stars maybe.

Have a good day and thanks for reading!!

BLC - Day 5

Oh it's Friday, and I accidentally 'slept in' this morning. Meaning I didn't wake up at 4am like I wanted to. So, I'll have to workout this afternoon instead. I'm thinking of going for a run/jog/walk, lol. Also going to go hit the weights at lunch. And then, when I finally get home tonight, I'm going to jump on my spinning bike and watch Cabaret. So, it is a good plan. Now I gotta stick with it!

I am pretty psyched about this weekend. Here is the agenda:

Friday
5pm - Run/Walk
6pm - Maybe stop by Candice's House and rehearse Cabaret audition?
7pm - Spin and watch Cabaret! :)

Saturday
8am - Zumba with Rocio!
9am - Weight Lifting class maybe?
10am - Open Water Swimming w/Helen (yikes!)
5pm - Drive in Movies w/my hubby! :) Gonna see Iron Man 2 and How to Tame your Dragon (it is a double feature)

Sunday
6am - Duathlon w/Kyra (Gonna run 1 mile, ride bike for an hour, and run another mile)
1:30pm - Cabaret Audition (Eeee, excited and scared!)

Good plan, huh? I'm excited! Then Monday I have my second weigh in for the biggest loser. Crossing my fingers to see a loss...but I'm not that worried. I know I've had a great week. I'm doing what I love, talking to people about leading a healthy lifestyle all day long, and experiencing life! It is so great that I don't really care THAT much about the number on the scale. PLUS! I have blogged all week :) :) :) That makes me super happy.

Oh, and another thing that I am REALLY proud of this week? I stayed away from the candy jar that is only about 3 yards away from me. Didn't get anything out of it! Not once!

Woohoo! Everyone have a great weekend and thanks for reading!!!