Just When You Think Everything's Going Your Way...

Life throws you a curve ball...



Yesterday my husband got laid off due to budget cuts where we work. Seems like we were smooth sailing along, I was getting back into the groove of working out, we were excited about our future...and suddenly, without warning, we got this bomb shell dropped on us.



Sigh.

But, I'm trying to stay positive, you know, seeing the glass half full? And I have many reasons to be that way. Thank goodness we sold the house and I make enough money that I can cover all the bills under my paycheck alone. Also, Aaron should be able to qualify for unemployment no problem.



This could very well turn into a big oppurtonity for us. He isn't just going to look for jobs around here, but nationwide. I am also going to start looking (hope my HR doesn't read my blog). There are many places we'd be interested in living, and there are only so many times in your life you can change the state in which you live.

After all this happened yesterday I fell off the wagon for a little bit. I had 3 pieces of pepperoni pizza. "Boooo! Hssssss!" Then I went to the grocery store and got some vanilla ice cream. But, I am so thankful for this, Aaron looked at me and said, "Let's not use this as an excuse to be unhealthy, let's do the opposite."

So I still had the ice cream, but only one serving of it. And I mean the REAL 1 serving that is like 1/4 of a cup!

This morning I felt much better, though I didn't get up and do the elliptical, because let's face it people, Aaron and I both needed some hug time.

So, life is crazy. I'm trying not to feel so weirded out that I stop making progress. I'm excited at the prospect of changing up our lives! And wouldn't it be great if I could be a healthy, maybe even thin me when that happens?

Hope everyone is doing well.
Thanks for reading!

Weigh In Wednesday

Got up this morning and I almost forgot it was Weigh in Wednesday. I dutifully got the scale out and saw that I had lost two pounds of weight and gained two pounds of accomplishment. I won't lie and say I was excited about the number. If I would have given myself time to think about it, I would have thought that I should have lost more weight. But, I keep reminding myself it doesn't matter. 2 Pounds accomplished is awesome, and that will eventually add up to big numbers. So I'm happy. But more than anything I'm happy about what I did to get to those two pounds.

Here a random list of things I'm proud of:

Since last Wednesday I have covered 63 miles!
Almost 10 of those miles were running.
And it looks like next Wednesday the mileage will be even higher!
And even more of the miles will be from running.
I have been tracking my workouts.
I have been waking up in the morning and doing 30-60 minutes on the elliptical.
Then I get ready and ride my bike to work.
Then When I get home I run/walk 45 minutes.
I have gone from running 90 seconds to running two minutes and walking 60 seconds in between.
Yesterday I forgot my shoes at work, but I didn't let that stop me from running.
I borrowed a pair of Aaron's and headed out the door.
Yesterday I didn't feel tired so I ran for 5 minutes strait.
Then I took a short break and ran for 8 minutes strait.
I have been watching my calories and eating, and I have been writing it down for the last three days.
I have been bringing my lunch to work and cooking dinner at night.
I have actually done my sit-ups the last two days.
I feel better.
I like myself more.
My calves are starting to look toned again and the rolls on my stomach and back are not as prominent.
I'm starting to dream athletic dreams again.
I'm challenging myself.
I'm not backing down.

Those 2 pounds had a lot of stuff in them :) It is a good day!

Running; Causing Your Own Accomplishment

I think I might be a runner.

I know, I could hear your gasp of shock all the way down here in Houston, Texas. But, the last week or so I've been trying to run a little bit. I'm certainly not covering any great distances or going as fast as lightning. But I am getting out there and running.

I can't say that I enjoy it yet. It starts out painful. Yesterday it took 20 minutes for my right calf to stop cramping and then my left calf started up. But somewhere around 35 minutes they didn't hurt anymore and I was shocked to realize that the pain was gone. It didn't feel good, but it didn't hurt.

One of my main gripes about running is that there is no momentum. On a bike, you get moving and it feels good. There is always this forward momentum. But with running...well, you are constantly striving to create that momentum, and if you stop, even for a second, that momentum is out the window.

I read an article today called The Grossman Motivation Series, Part I: Dismiss Distractions.
The author said what I am trying to say but in a much better way;

Running is difficult mainly because, "You have to cause your run."

This rings so true to me. You have to cause everything, not just putting on your shoes and getting out the door...but every step you have to cause it.


But for some reason, instead of swaying me, realizing that little fact makes me want to get out there and push myself, to cause that run to happen. Because when I do there is such pride in me. I feel more accomplished going for a 2 mile run than I do a 25 mile bike ride. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the cycling more. There is just something about pushing yourself, and the only person you have to compete with out there is yourself.

I still don't like running.

It is going to be really hard for me to make myself get out the door this evening.

But I am really starting to suspect that, if I stick with this, I might become a runner.

Weekend Recap and Updates

Well, I really wanted to post this weekend. It is funny how often I think about this blog and what I want to write on it. I have never been one of those people that can keep a journal, even though I've always wanted to. But, there is just something about this blog that is therapeutic and doable.

So, I can't believe it, but I'm doing good. This weekend was full of fun adventures!

Adventure #1

I ran/walked the Kemah Bridge! I ran 90 seconds, walked 60 seconds, and I did that 25 times which equals a total of 62.5 minutes of exercise! I crossed the bridge 4 times total. The total distance was 3.8 miles.

Here is a nice menacing picture of it.

And get this! It was a BLAST! It was beautiful too! I got to see the sunrise and there were pelicans flying all over the place and there were lots of people there running and biking. I kept thinking, "Man these people are CRAZY! But that must mean I'm crazy because I'm here too." And that made me feel like a bad ass :)

Yes, I felt very accomplished and I will definitely be back for more.

Adventure #2

Sunday morning Helen and I rode out to a farmer's market called Froberg's. Was a 26.2 mile ride all together. I bought; grapes, an apple, an small sugar-free apricot pie, granola, trail mix, and some blackberry preserves (which I made a peanut butter & jelly sandwich with today for lunch. Can't wait to try it). It was really beautiful out there. Next weekend we are going to up the mileage a bit and ride out to Twin Lakes, which is a scuba training lake where you can also do open water swimming. I'm very excited! It feels great to spend time outside!


Adventure #3

Last, but not least, Friday Aaron texted me and said, "Are you going to get me a present?" I know this sounds random, but it is just how we operate. So, I'm trying to think of some fun and small gift, and it just so happened I was at Academy. We have been talking about trying Tennis for a while, so I got a couple of rackets and tennis balls. Let's just say he was pretty surprised :) Well, Sunday afternoon we tried them out. There is a tennis court right by our apartment and we spend about 30 minutes trying to hit the ball back and forth. He had played tennis when he was younger, but I have literally never held a racket. Still, it was lots of fun and definitely a good workout! What is even better is Aaron said he'd like to try and do that in the evenings on the weekdays! I am so excited to do something outside and active with him!

Hot 100 Update

Going the distance from Houston, Texas to New Orleans, LA - Doing okay. My mileage is inching along, and I really like that part of my challenge. Almost to the town of Vintan, LA on a map. I'm pretty sure I'll be to Lake Charles by Friday!

Getting into a size 14 - I am feeling thinner. My pants don't seem to be as tight as they were a couple of weeks ago.

Situps - OMG, I am TERRIBLE! I keep thinking I'll do to them and I haven't done a single one!! That's it, tonight I WILL do them. Every day this week. I just need to get started then I know I'll do it every day.

Freaky Friday

This week's theme song?

"Sometimes you feel like a nut!"

That was me this week. Completely and totally nutty. And not in a good way. Let's just say it was that time AND there was a full moon out. I mean seriously, I felt like I was turning to a Werewolf. An emotional, distraught PMS werewolf.


But I woke up this morning, and resisting the urge to crawl back into bed, I downed a granola bar, grabbed my mp3 player and a book, and then I jumped on the Elliptical for an hour.

IT WAS AWESOME.

Awesome Workout - Elliptical, 1 Hour, Hills Setting.
Awesome Music - PowerGlove, Retro Video Game Music Hair Metal Style.
Awesome Book - Born to Run by Christopher McDougall

So yeh, I have to talk about this book. This book is changing something in me. It is changing that I detest even the thought of running. I didn't think reading could ever do this, but this book IS!

Here's the description from Amazon:
"Full of incredible characters, amazing athletic achievements, cutting-edge science, and, most of all, pure inspiration, Born to Run is an epic adventure that began with one simple question: Why does my foot hurt? In search of an answer, Christopher McDougall sets off to find a tribe of the world’s greatest distance runners and learn their secrets, and in the process shows us that everything we thought we knew about running is wrong.

Isolated by the most savage terrain in North America, the reclusive Tarahumara Indians of Mexico’s deadly Copper Canyons are custodians of a lost art. For centuries they have practiced techniques that allow them to run hundreds of miles without rest and chase down anything from a deer to an Olympic marathoner while enjoying every mile of it. Their superhuman talent is matched by uncanny health and serenity, leaving the Tarahumara immune to the diseases and strife that plague modern existence. With the help of Caballo Blanco, a mysterious loner who lives among the tribe, the author was able not only to uncover the secrets of the Tarahumara but also to find his own inner ultra-athlete, as he trained for the challenge of a lifetime: a fifty-mile race through the heart of Tarahumara country pitting the tribe against an odd band of Americans, including a star ultramarathoner, a beautiful young surfer, and a barefoot wonder.

With a sharp wit and wild exuberance, McDougall takes us from the high-tech science labs at Harvard to the sun-baked valleys and freezing peaks across North America, where ever-growing numbers of ultrarunners are pushing their bodies to the limit, and, finally, to the climactic race in the Copper Canyons. Born to Run is that rare book that will not only engage your mind but inspire your body when you realize that the secret to happiness is right at your feet, and that you, indeed all of us, were born to run."

I am not finished with this book, but I'm sure I will be by the end of this weekend. And so far it is one of the best books I have every read. Quickly becoming one of my favorites. It talks about the joy of the human spirit and that is what running IS. Have you ever been so happy getting out of work that you literally want to SPRINT to your car? I have, and I thought I was insane. But turns out, that is just happiness at its most basic form. After 60 minutes on the elliptical I was so pumped that I started racing the clock...really trying to get to 600 calories burned before it ran out. I got to 598 and I was laughing so hard. That poor elliptical just wasn't ready for me.

Okay, I'm planning on doing a full review of this book when I'm finished, but for now I'll just leave you with a really cool quote;

"Beyond the extreme of fatigue and distress, we may find amounts of ease and power we never dreamed ourselves to own; sources of strength never taxed at all because we never push through the obstruction." - William James

I hope you have an awesome day! Thanks for reading :)

Ten Things Thursday

1. I registered for the 2011 BP MS150 yesterday! Yay, so freaking excited! I'm also on the Saint Arnold Brewery Team this year! I feel like such a badace.

2. Right now I'm reading Born to Run by Christopher McDougall and I'm really enjoying it. It is making me want to run. Crazy, I know!

3. Lately I've been using the website DailyMile to record exercise. I really enjoy it. Similar to Facebook in the commenting system. If you are on there please add me as a friend :)

4. This last week I saw the movie HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON and loved it! Like, loved it so much I was exclaiming aloud about, "Oh no! I hope the Dragon is ok!" Definitely a MUST see!

5. I am loving our apartment. Who knew that life really would be better after moving out of the house. It is time that society face not everyone needs to live in or own a house now. Life can be good without it.

6. My favorite snack this week has been strawberry greek yogurt mixed with Bear Naked Granola. Yum!

7. I don't feel like doing any work today. Luckily I am leaving early for a doctor's appointment, and I don't plan on coming back ;) I am planning on going for a walk/run instead.

8. I miss my friend Candice, and I'm about to Instant Message her to see if I can trick her into going to lunch with me sometime soon.

9. I already have two exercise things planned this weekend with my friend Helen. #1, on Saturday we are going to run the Kemah Bridge a few times (well, she is going to run, I'm going to run/walk), and #2, Sunday, we are going to ride our bikes out to a farmer's market and back. Hoping to log between 35-40 miles.

10. I FINALLY got an mp3 player last night. Loaded it up with music, so I'm really excited to get my run on with it :)

Weigh In Wednesdays?

So last night I found myself watching The Biggest Loser again. Funny how that always works out. I really don't mean to watch it so often, but last night I wasn't feeling good so I took the night off and laid in bed with a bowl of cheese puffs and a mountain dew. (How's that for honesty? lol)

As always, watching The Biggest Loser made me start thinking about weight loss and health, and ways to lose weight, and the psychology of it all. Two things really stuck out in my head above everything else I thought about.

1. I still really want to lose weight. 2. I don't want to define my worth by how much weight I lose.

I still really want to lose weight, that is all there is to it. I know it isn't going to be fast. I don't really want it to be. I just want to get there eventually. Maybe by 2012 maybe by 2013. Just eventually I'd like to see myself below 160. You see, I'm really trying not to set these super awesome goals that make a bad day seem like a huge failure. I would just like to gradually snake my way down there.

Things that help me remember not to freak out about my weight are that I'm already married with a husband that loves me. I don't have to attract anyone else. Would it be nice to have a guy take a second glance? Hell yeh! But it isn't necessary. Sometimes, and this makes me feel like a bit of a bad wife, that is my PRIMARY reason for wanting to lose weight. I want men to be attracted to me. I guess it is one of those basic animalistic desires...to be wanted. Anyway, getting over this will actually help a lot.

Also, as I've addressed before, I need to stop constantly seeking people's approval and thinking their affirmation will make me happy or more valuable. I won't go on and on about that, because I've addressed it before.

I don't want to define my worth by how much weight I lose. Sorry, I've gotta dog on The Biggest Loser a bit here. I just get so tired of the emphasis they put on LOSING the weight. Last night when they were doing the weigh in almost all of the people were in tears over losing five pounds or even nine pounds saying things like, "I hope this is a big enough number to make me valuable to my team."

Well doesn't that just say it all? That is how I feel a lot of the time. I know I'm not on any team and I know no friend is going to disown me because I haven't lost the weight I have set out to lose. But I certainly feel like I base much of my value on how much I've lost.

Confession time:

I originally lost 80 pounds. Now I've gained some back. Now I've only lost 45 pounds.

That is SO hard to say. I am even now thinking subconsciously, "I hope people skip this post. I hope they don't read it so they don't see that." I placed so much value on the fact that I'd lost 80 pounds! It felt sooo good. How can I renig? How can I go back? People won't look at me the same way!

Oh it is so stupid, and I KNOW that. But it is an emotion I have to look in the face and deal with if I ever want to change it.

Goals are never ending. We cannot expect that reaching a goal will make us any happier than we are when we are trying to reach it. Because once you reach a goal you have a whole other set of goals. Think about it? When will you be done? After you buy a car? No, because then you want a house with a garage to store it in. After the house? No, because then you want to upgrade the appliances? After you upgrade? No, because then you want to have kids. After kids? No, because then you want to raise them right and put them through college...

And the list goes on.

Goals aren't a bad thing. But I think we, as a society, really need to get our story strait. It isn't about the end result, it is about the journey. I usually HATE when people say that. I hate it because often times it comes from a person who has no direction in life and is just looking for an excuse to be lazy, haha. But you can have goals and still enjoy the journey. I guess what I'm getting at is you don't set goals for the end result, you set them, from the beginning, because you want to experience that journey.

Let me repeat that again, because it just really sunk in for me:

You don't set goals for the end result, you set them, from the beginning, because you want to experience that journey.

I want to experience the journey of weight loss and getting healthy.

So let's address something else....when do you ever associated experiences, journeys, positive things with losing something. Yep, pretty much NEVER. You GAIN something when you on on a journey or have a positive experience. We are constantly saying we are on a Weight Loss Journey. If you really think about it, it is such a contradictory way of saying what I'm after.

What am I REALLY after? We should say things like;

A Health Crusade, a Life Journey, an Exercise Immersion, an Athletic Adventure, an Experience Extravaganza!

NOW we're talking! THOSE terms get me pumped. Screw this weight loss journey bull crap!!

Okay, I know I've gone on an on, so let me return to my Title and original points.

I weighed in today.

Did I just hear a crowd in the distance booing? Honestly, that is what I heard in my head.

Guess what the scale said?

ZERO

Well that is what it said after I calculated a simple equation in my head:

What I Weighed Today - What I Weighed Today = ZERO

I know you might be thinking I'm crazy, but trust me on this. You must not have read the instructions on your scale correctly if you are getting a number like 250. That is so wrong. Because this is what you are supposed to do.

You take the number of your original weigh in. Every time you weigh in you SUBTRACT the new weigh in number. Today I got ZERO because it was my first weigh in, but next we it might be 1, 2, 3.

These numbers are a lot less scary then seeing 229 or 331.

And they are positives. Not negatives, like "I lost 5 pounds"...No I want to gain five pounds of experiences!

I have decided to go on a journey to 20. Just like I am journeying from Houston to New Orleans on my ticker over to the right which I am loving. Even if some days I only add a mile, it is neat to see me GOING somewhere! I am going to journey from ZERO (today's number) to 20. There will be another goal after that. There always is. But right now I just want to get to 20.

This number will not define me.
I don't really care when I get to it.
Might not be until this time next year.
But I'm going on a journey to 20.
20 great experiences!
20 Life lessons!
20 GAINS!

Okay, you probably think I'm crazy now. But thanks for reading :)